Paper and Ink: Interconnectedness (5)

By Emmeline Bisiikwa, Uganda:

Let’s be friends. That statement was the start of a horror I wished to never experience even after you and I were done.

I thought I could stomach being friends with you, after all, you hadn’t done anything bad. I just got tired of the numerous broken promises and halfhearted attempts to make it up to me. So, when you sent the occasional messages checking on me, I had no problem replying or chatting back.

I hadn’t seen you for weeks after the break up and I was naive to imagine it would remain that way. I kept talking to the friends we shared, after all, they had played no part in your actions that broke my heart.

One evening after work, I decided to share a drink or two with friends and then somehow they asked you to join us. I wasn’t really surprised, but imagined we could be civil to each other. I took many drinks compared to none on your part, and kept deflecting comments about us dating, as I bid time to leave.

A few drinks too many and I asked you to walk me home. Ignoring my misgivings, I asked you to drop me all the way. You silently gathered your phone and led the way. I jokingly mentioned you got me drunk on purpose but you took it the wrong way.

Once home, I gave in to the loneliness and shared one more moment with you. It was sad because with each touch I felt the distance that had materialized between us. The next day, you asked to see me but I brushed it off. And somehow that birthed the worst fight we had ever had.

You accused me of taking you for granted and taking out my issues on you, while I accused you of wanting to continue hurting me even after we were done. As you were prone to do during fights, you turned off your phone and somehow blamed me for pushing you away.

I asked you not to talk to me again and you became mad, insulting me with all the anger you had pent up from when we were together. You threatened to publish my messages and even said how I was a horrible person, no wonder no one liked me.

That’s when I regretted ever meeting you. The whole relationship and friendship was stained with the blackness of what you felt and said. I couldn’t see past that to see the love and so I concluded that it had all been a lie. I walked away from the sham that was our friendship and knew that I would never miss you. That was it, the end of everything we had shared.