Hello! Goodbye, Jerkface (2)
I decided to write to you today because somehow my heart is breaking. All I can think about is how we met and how it felt like it was right and meant to be.
Somehow our friendship survived the break-up. If anything, we became closer with the uncanny ability to think alike, complete each other’s sentences and even know what exactly the other was thinking. Being young and volatile, we had a lot of fights brought on by me taking things you said the wrong way or just overreacting. You remained calm and understanding, although we didn’t talk every day.
Every once in a while you would tell me “I know we are meant to be”?or “I know you’re my future wife”. I brushed it off because you hadn’t met me yet. How do you fall in love with someone you haven’t seen or touched or even shared air with? I silently leaned on your unwavering support, talking about careers, boyfriends, family and life. We disagreed on philosophies but you aren’t meant to agree on everything, right?
So I held on to the idea that maybe someday, all you said would come to pass. Maybe you meant it and I was everything you wanted your wife to be. Maybe, just maybe I was too blind to see my soul-mate when he was right in front of me.
The last time we were close, we had taken a while without speaking – months maybe. You called me using your work line and asked how I was. I spoke to you for a while without knowing it was you. You mentioned getting my number from a friend and our conversation flowed like we had known each other’s lies. I chatted and laughed with you until eventually you admitted it was you.
I guess I had known you for years. We spoke like there hadn’t been a break in the dance that was our conversation over the years. We linked bridges over what had been said before and you mentioned our house that you wanted to sell off. The whole conversation was full of plans for us and you mentioned again that you always knew I would come back to you. I agreed that maybe all I had needed was time.
We spoke for hours and you showed me pictures of the new house you wanted to build. When I mentioned that I was building in the same area, we weren’t surprised. It just felt like another sign since we were even thinking the same.
I was busy at work, so we agreed to speak later when we both got off; and, I continued my evening with a silly smile on my face with adrenaline rushing through my veins.