Paper and Ink, Series

From His Arms to Yours (3)

paper-ink

By Emmeline Bisiikwa, Uganda:

Eventually, you gave me an ultimatum. “I don’t want to share you anymore.” I swallowed hard and hedged, “But you have a girlfriend.”

“I think it is time we were officially together.”

I was excited and scared at the same time. In all the time we had been together the scariest thought for me had been gathering up the courage to leave him. Yes, I loved you but I loved him too and he was my first love. I wanted to have both of you and yet belong to you and have you belong to me. I went home and cried and thought so much, and knew this was the moment I would lose one or both of my loves.

I gathered courage and, I asked to see him. He thought it was a normal visit and indeed we watched movies and then before I left, I told him I wanted a break up. He said, “Ok.” It’s amazing how broken one word can leave you feeling. We had been together 2 years and the best he could tell me when I asked for a break up out of the blue was ok? I felt betrayed; maybe he hadn’t loved me after all. I went home to cry and eventually texted you, I broke up with him. Your response hurt me more, Really?

I wanted to shout at you but instead I responded, Yes. Now we can be together. As an afterthought, I asked, Have you broken up? You took a while, and then responded, Not yet. My heart crashed at that. Had I been too hasty? Would you go through with it?

I was upset, so, I stopped talking to you for a few days as I waited for you to be free and come to me. I was sad and thought maybe you wouldn’t really go through with it. Eventually you told me what I needed to hear. I was excited and ecstatic. A few days later, you officially asked me to be your girl and I was over the moon.

Two years later, I had known love and pain. I had felt forever in your arms and forgotten what it was like to be without you. I still thought about you first thing in the morning and last thing at night. My heart skipped at your kisses and I wanted to spend all my time with you.

When I caught you smiling at a picture of a girl in your phone and you lied about who she was, my eyes watered and I felt karma catching up with me. Stealing you didn’t make you mine, you were borrowed, and now just like you had cheated on the girl before me, you had found solace in someone else’s arms.

After everything we went through to be together, I never felt that I would lose you. We were kindred spirits until we weren’t anymore. I could never imagine walking away, after all we had planned our wedding and set a date and I knew what heaven felt like just by being with you. But the hell of imagining you cheating on me was enough to make me kick you out without another thought because I wasn’t ready to imagine that you would discard me like our love meant nothing.

You showed me that if he cheats with you, he will cheat on you too.

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