Paper and Ink: Femme Aimee (64)

Paper and Ink: Femme Aimee (64)

paper-inkBy Emmeline Bisiikwa, Uganda:

I have been single numerous times, but the funny thing is each time I wasn't really alone. Even without an official 'boyfriend' there were normally several interested parties, text conversations with potential people and all I had to do was decide if I wanted to try out something.

This time, for the first time, there is no one. Like no one I can see the start of something with, no one I am interested in, and no one that makes my heart skip a beat. I am married to my goals and ambition and I smile to myself every time I think of the new things that will soon be in my life.

I might be missing out on love, companionship, but I'm never short of intrigue, and right now intrigue seems like real fun. I see a cute guy and think to myself, should I walk up to him for a change? Should I mess with his head? The last thing on my mind is something serious and am having a good time enjoying myself with no expectations and baggage.

I recently started a new job that requires a lot of socialization, and so it is a new scene for me to express myself and let my naughty side out to play. It's relaxing to just go dance my cares away every other weekend. Of course I look my best so that if I bump into Mr. Maybe or Mr. Right he will definitely notice me but so far I haven't come across any.

In this century though, hanging out has replaced traditional courtship. I am beginning to worry that I might meet someone but he wouldn't do the whole traditional thing and just hang out. I am a sucker for romance and want to be dined and courted. Ironically I haven't had that ever in all the times I dated. The one guy that did that scared me off; hey, I was a young campus student and he really scared me. Ok, not just being too intense. His wandering hands were definitely the biggest turn off; I felt like a total sex object.

Most modern 'relationships' lately are 90% mobile and we don't know how to date without them. Calling, texting and whatsapp are all part of the foreplay and without a mobile phone you can't have a functional relationship. Most times, I don't decide what I am doing on a Friday night until about 6.59pm that evening – with a text or phone call confirming plans. Having standard dates is now unthinkable because something better could turn up.

But even with online dating, it has been forever since someone expressed interest on social media. I guess the excitement wears off and you can't take someone seriously when they post random stuff. I guess I will stick to being alone and enjoying my nights out, no prospects I can see.

Founder and Editor in Chief of the Readers Cafe Africa

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