Paper and Ink: Femme Aimee (39)
By Emmeline Bisiikwa, Uganda:
For the first time in a really long time, I am single. There, I finally admitted it. No 'somehows' or 'maybes' but actually completely single. It isn't that I have absolutely no attention but more like no wanted attention. There are the exes and the ones before that all claiming they want another chance and they still feel something but somehow, my heart isn't into it. If the first time and other odd times you somehow didn't do the right thing and I moved on, what is going to be so different this time?
I have no idea how people meet their partners in this day and age. There are those who met while in school but I am way past that stage now. Then the new age met “online”. Somehow I don't see that working out for me. I tried checking all my pending friend requests looking for people who seemed interesting or promising but there was no hope there.
Then others have the cliché, you will find someone. Or rather, someone will find you. My question is: “where? Where do they find people so I can go hang around there till I'm found too?” Or better yet, why doesn't someone find me without any input on my side?
It feels like somehow time, I didn't know was running out, is now on its last ticks and it's now or never for me. Problem is, every single person interested at this point just doesn't appeal in a way I can't resist. Is it so hard to expect someone normal and interesting who isn't a douche to show up?
I kind of do hope now that someone can just set me up with someone nice. That way I won't have to worry about searching or being found, about screening this person and all those issues. In the bigger context of things, finding someone nice isn't really that important you may think but hey, I'm done feeling sorry for myself and all the wrong things that happened this past year and the years before it. I'm hoping to find someone new that is going to rock my world because I'm definitely going to rock theirs.
I now understand why people go to such great lengths to find someone, and why others refuse to walk away even when things are hard. Apparently no one is perfect and it is hard to find decent partners out there.