The Apprentice: I am not the Villain of the Story
By Kizzy Katawonga, Uganda:
We live in exciting times for the gender issues.
Women's rights and advocacy is at its highest.
Though still a long, long way from reaching everybody's desired state of true equality between the genders, we can certainly say a large portion of the world has climbed out of Neanderthal dehumanization of women.
However, there's a growing downside to the push for women's lib and it's the vilification of men.
Yes. It sounds strange to some given that several men have been and continue to be quite villainous in their actions towards women.
From time immemorial, men have subjugated women to be little more than slaves, objects to satisfy their lusts, automated baby machines from which an heir must be obtained.
I am truly appalled at the things men have done to women in spite of the Father's directive that we are equal and precious in His sight.
Having said that, with the continued progress of women's rise there is also a growing attitude of reprisal present in many a woman towards men.
It appears more and more that by simply being male, one is a villain destined to perform nefarious and horrendous deeds to the women around him.
It sounds extreme I know but let me share an example.
When my wife and I were getting ready to be married, we received a bevy of advice from those around us. A large percentage of the men assured me that I was going to get fed up by my wife but I could prevent that from happening by preemptively getting a pretty young thing to amuse me.
My wife on the other hand was told in no uncertain terms that I being a man was going to cheat on her without fail. Therefore she should prepare a secret safety fund in case I ever throw her out to bring in another woman.
Yes friends, this was real advice from peers and elders.
I am to this day extremely bothered by the beliefs held by society today. I was almost convinced that I really had no control over my fidelity.
As I've pondered these things, I've come to realize that society, especially the female side of it has a strong preconceived belief that we men are evil dirty dogs that will chase anything in a skirt and be immature and irresponsible.
We are expected to be these things. We aren't even given the benefit of the doubt anymore. There are all sorts of derogatory and condescending jokes about men vs. women with women being the better and superior.
Jokes like, God perfected women after failing with men. How that isn't considered blasphemy is a wonder to me. God made everything and declared it was good.
Or those internet memes of men so ridiculously inept with babies or some other such thing.
Every day, we are bombarded with messages that perpetuate or affirm these wrong associations to men.
Every day, it takes every fiber in my being to believe that I am not the villain that society wants to make me out to be.
I wasn't there when my forefathers demeaned and devalued women so don't hold me accountable for that.
I wasn't there when my forefathers cheated on their wives with gross liberty so don't make that my lot.
I wasn't there when my forefathers determined that girls shouldn't go to school or inherit so don't think that I will do that to mine.
I wasn't there when my forefathers abandoned mothers and children because they didn't want the responsibility of being fathers. I haven't abandoned my family.
I am not the villain of this story, so don't brand me so.