By Tashinga Wazara, Zimbabwe:
I was really nervous as I walked up to Mrs Kay's door and rang the bell. The previous night after our extra lesson we had started talking and I had taken a gamble and kissed her. You see, I had wanted to kiss her for a very long time. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever met even though she was seven years older than me. When I kissed her yesterday, she had kissed me back and it was beautiful… well, at least until she pushed me away and told me to leave her house.
It made sense. She was married, I was her student. It was wrong. But there was a time during our brief ten second kiss that it didn't only feel right, it felt perfect. It was as if for those brief moments, the world was in perfect balance, our hearts were in perfect harmony and our emotions had reached a climax which was more powerful than the strongest drug we could ever take. I felt it, and I know she did too in spite of the fact that she's the one who stopped it. But like I said, it was wrong. I got it.
The next morning though, I woke up to a text from her telling me to meet her at her house that evening and I didn't even ask why. I knew why. She HAD felt what I had felt and she had decided to act upon it. I felt a joy inside me that I had never felt before. It was as if my whole life had been in black and white and then as soon as I read the text, I had started seeing in colour for the first time.
Still, I was really nervous as I walked up to her door. She opened for me and as soon as I laid my eyes upon her magnificent face something took over me, I think they call it love, or maybe it was lust, but whatever it was, it implored me to kiss her right there at the door and again she kissed me back and motioned me into the house. We sat in her living room and she offered me some wine. We drank for a while and made small talk but it was clear that both our minds were elsewhere. I was relieved when she finally took my hand and led me to her bedroom.
We got into her room and as we walked in I got the biggest shock of my life! Right there, in the room, was Mrs Kay's husband! I froze, my whole body numbed by a cocktail of shock, fear and confusion. Mrs Kay then pushed me onto the bed and told me to take off my clothes but I wasn't listening. I felt like I was having an out of body experience and that everything that was happening was a big dream.
I remember that while Mrs Kay was telling me to take off my clothes, her husband started taking off his pants and he motioned to her to leave. She looked at him almost in as much shock as I was and reluctantly she left. I wanted to follow her but somehow I was just glued to the same spot on the bed as my mind tried to figure out what was going on. I had come here to sleep with Mrs Kay but instead I was in her bedroom alone with her husband and he was taking his pants off. I was in total bewilderment and my head was spinning.
Mrs Kay's husband then walked up to me and passed me a cup with what looked like Coca-Cola. He then said, 'Drink this'. I shook my head and he turned round and picked up a gun that was on the side of his dresser and pointed it at me and said, 'I said drink this now!' I then picked up the drink and took a few gulps. He just stood there looking at me and after about two minutes I started feeling drowsy, kind of like how you feel when you've been given an anaesthetic and I passed out.
I kept coming in and out of consciousness and each time I would regain consciousness I would feel Mrs Kay's husband thrusting me from behind but when I tried to move I would pass out again. This happened a few times until eventually I regained consciousness and didn't pass out again although I kept my eyes closed. He was done raping me and was sitting on the edge of his bed catching his breath.
I opened my eyes slightly and saw his gun on the dresser and I tried to muster some energy to reach out and grab it but I just felt too weak. I laid there for a few minutes and began to think about what had just happened. 'I have just been raped' I thought. At this point Mrs Kay's husband was putting his clothes back on. The more I thought about what had happened, the more my eyes welled up with tears and I started shaking. Suddenly, I let out a loud scream and, although I was still feeling weak I leaped for his gun. I had to act quickly because if he had jumped out at me he would have overpowered me because I was feeling so weak. Without thinking I pointed the gun at Mrs Kay's husband and shot him twice in the chest as he turned round to look at me.
He fell face first onto the bed and I fell back onto his headboard. I was still shaking and crying and I felt powerless. I'll never forget the smell of Mrs Kay's husband's blood as it oozed out of his lifeless body. The room also smelled of gunpowder from the gun I had just shot and the combination of the two smells was really foul.
Mrs Kay came to the door and started knocking on the door, screaming. She kept shouting, 'Rob! Rob!' I quickly realized that that must have been her husband's name. The more she screamed, I realized that she thought that I was the one who had died. I wanted to go and unlock the door but I couldn't. I felt too drowsy and weak to get up.
After about half an hour I got up and stumbled to the door. By this time Mrs Kay had given up knocking on the door. I unlocked it and she was standing on the other side. She looked at me and I looked at her but we both said nothing. The gun was still in my hand. As much as I was shaking I hadn't let it go.
Eventually Mrs Kay came up to me and hugged me. It was then that I realized I wasn't wearing any pants on because when she hugged me she rubbed against my crotch. Many thoughts started flooding my mind. Why was she hugging me when she is the one that had set me up to be raped by this monster she called her husband? Was this her plan all along? She had set me up and now she wanted to show me love?! She couldn't be serious!
At this point, I clenched the gun and made up my mind to blow her brains out and then put the gun in my mouth and kill myself too. It seemed like the only way to end this nightmare. As I was about to lift the gun up and shoot Mrs Kay she leaned in and began to kiss me. It seemed like a really messed up time to try and initiate sex and it completely threw me off.
For some sadistic reason I started to kiss her back. It was as if my anger towards her became
re-channeled into unbridled lust and I pushed her against the wall and kissed her hard. I got her onto the floor and began ripping her clothes off. I became really forceful. My lust turned back to anger. I threw Mrs Kay onto the floor and I forced myself upon her. She tried to stop me but then eventually she relented. It was as if she started to enjoy the pain, as if she was taking the pain as punishment for what she had done to me and I obliged in giving it to her.
She screamed, and the more she screamed the more forceful I became. By this time I had put the gun down next to me. I hadn't changed my mind though. I was still going to blow her brains out but only after I was done doing to her what her husband had done to me. When I was done I slapped her across the face and I spat on her. She had betrayed me in the most unforgivable way and she disgusted me.
I stood up, picked up the gun and pointed the gun in her face. She looked at me wide-eyed as she realized what was about to happen. One of us was about to die and it wasn't going to be me. Well, at least not yet.
I took a deep breath and pointed the gun right between her eyes and whispered, 'Goodbye Mrs Kay' and I shot her. I shot her in the side of her head and I watched for a while as her body twitched until finally she lay there lifeless. I then fell on my knees and put the gun in my mouth. I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger, but I was surprised when a few moments later I opened them again. That's when I realized: there were no more bullets left.
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