Bulletin Dilution, Reflections

Bulletin Dilution: Brains, not sex, get the work done.

By Cynthia Ayeza, Uganda:

There once was a young lady who left her country, to find work in Paris. When in Paris, she joined a model agency that promised to get her work, which would include being a hostess. She did not know what it would entail or when work would come. One day, she received a call from a client, having been directed to her by her agent, who asked to meet with her at a particularly fancy restaurant. The girl was dressed for the part and arrived on time. As they sat and ordered drinks, the conversation almost immediately took a different turn, where the client said, “I will pay you US$1000 if you will have sex with me”. The girl, stunned, began to cry. She cried, and cried and cried some more. No one had ever offered her so much money, and yet also, she had never imagined that she would have to sell her body for cash. And so she cried and cried and cried some more…in the end, she took the money and serviced the client.

I stared at one of my favourite people as he relayed this story, waiting to be spoon-fed with some wisdom from it.

I have been thinking about this story for a while now. We can agree that life is interesting – some see it as unfair but it remains interesting. It is increasingly hard to find work or a job on merit alone and that is a fact. This is stuff no one is going to tell you in the classroom or lecture hall. For the scientists, it is thought, that things may be easier but not really. I know a chemist who struggled to get a decent job in his field of study and ended up waiting tables, and sometimes playing his musical instrument on the side walk with the hope that someone would throw a few coins or notes into his hat. You could graduate top of the class and still struggle. I've also heard that it takes knowing someone, somewhere in order to get a job. Sometimes this is very true and sometimes merit works. Other times, however, it seems that beyond a good brain, and knowing someone inside, one has to do more.

I am not sure how it works for men or boys but girls/ladies/women have had to go that extra mile – a sad, painful extra mile. The thing though is that people will say no one forced them to do it, and they are right. No one forces you to go that extra mile. We can and should be grounded in some kind of moral principle but we haven't all been raised with this kind of foundation. If you have never known better, how can you do better?

A beautiful and strong lady I met about three years ago had a meal with me once and said, “Use your face to get into the door and use your brain to stay in the door”. Sadly, many girls' faces unknowingly get them into the door and their bodies follow. Somehow, the brain got fried along the way with too much data that may have taken the form of, “Wow, he thinks I am beautiful; he speaks so well and dresses well, speaks of Gucci and Louis Vuitton, of travelling the world and how the job opens opportunities like no other…if he asked me to please him, what would I do? But the job will take me to places, I would drive a car of my own, maybe move into my own place…I could be ME but more like the arrived me”. How the possibility of material benefit can fry one's brain still remains a mystery to the fried brain but I think that anyone, under the “right circumstances” can have their brain fried.

Let me explain what I mean. Money and power are very seductive elements. For a girl's brain to be fried she must come from a deprived background, not only materially speaking, but one where whomever raised her did not instill in her a crucial safeguard – you need not have sex to get to where you “want” to be. Sometimes where you want to be may not be where you are supposed to be anyway. Granted the “want to” or desire to make it in life or in a particular field is important, however, it does not mean that we can just skip the necessary steps to getting there. Too many people take the short-cut, and successfully, to where they are unable to maintain but we need not fall into this trap.

Men in power and with the money know what they hold in their hands, and its ability to fool young and old ladies. However, I must say that many of these young girls are open to being fooled, unless of course they do not know and have never known better.

Anyway, if a lady can get a door unlocked on the basis of her good looks, by all means she should.
And then, she needs to remember to apply her brain – one that says sex is not (supposed to be) part of the deal. In reality, sex does not get the work done and at some point, that too will “run out”. If sex got you the chief of surgery job at a top hospital in your province, you better hope that your brain can back up the surgical healing required because sex does not operate in the realm of scalpels or surgical stitching you will encounter. There will be a prettier face, a younger, firmer and even more adventurous body bound to come through the same door of opportunity, possibly to replace you.

A pretty face is not enough but it certainly can get you through the door.

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