Cynthia Ayeza, Uganda:
Every once in a while you expect that humanity is moving towards a more civilised direction, only to find that over-rationalisation has led some off the good path of education and right onto the slippery slopes of “I know it all”. Singer, Songwriter, Producer, Rapper etc CeeLo Green has landed himself into some hot soup, and if he is not careful (and hopefully he will continue to be insanely careless since the consequences are exactly what he deserves), he may altogether lose his following.
As of today, an inspiration to many has now become one of the biggest disappointments of the same people that once admired him, after he thoughtlessly over-rationalised rape on his twitter account. Someone needs to lock up this guy and educate him while he is locked up! So the statement that caught my attention first was, “Women who have really been raped REMEMBER!!!” Sadly, even the three exclamation marks are not lost on me for the GREAT emphasis he placed on what he was communicating. So basically what this man is saying is that if a woman cannot remember what happened the night before, it should not be held against the guy. He is saying that it is ok to drug a woman, have sex with her – rape her, that is – after all, she won't remember tomorrow, and therefore it will not be considered as rape. What in the world is this man thinking? Were it his mother, would he be saying the same thing? But wait, some men are that sick!
I think there should be a law to deal with rape cases, one that will not be influenced by the amount of money one may have or how good a lawyer they can get. So when CeeLo Green says that women who have REALLY been raped, does he mean to suggest that some are raped but not really, and that there are those who are genuinely raped? I do not understand this man's thinking, but that he is walking free, is worrying. What is to stop him drugging another woman? Why should we think that this is the first time he's had the guts to drug a woman and have sex with her?
The one thing CeeLo Green ignored is that the woman REMEMBERED! She remembered having dinner with him – they ate and drunk. The fact that she cannot remember anything else after that, and wakes up naked in his bed indicates the possibility of something having transpired and without her consent. Also, when a woman is raped, one can no longer rely on say the bruising of the vagina that may occur since it has also been said that the same bruising can be found in consensual sexual activity. CeeLo is right – the women ought to remember, and they do. They remember that the last thing they did was not undressing themselves and that, in itself can and should be basis enough to consider drug-aided rape.
In a different part of the world, somewhere in Mamelodi, a young lady (early 20s) was raped, murdered and her naked body left in a dumpster. Whereas this by some stroke of luck eventually made it to the news in South Africa (only after residents were enraged and acted out), somewhere in the USA, a celebrity gets to tweet terribly misguided opinions and definitions of rape. It occurs to me that this young lady's case is what would convince CeeLo Green that rape occurred or not; after all, she is dead and would not be able to testify that she was raped. The truth is that this young lady is dead. Her memory of the incident is insignificant since she is dead. No one knows of a court beyond the grave where she might be able to find justice; and chances are that on this side of life, her perpetrators will not be found.
It is absurd that we continue to live in a world where women remain defenceless, where the law hardly ever works for them but rather against them, and big shots with their big money are able to divert attention from the actual issue. Rape is an old issue – but it will always be a relevant issue, especially as long as we, our children and our children's children consider having children; unless real measures, real consequences are emphasised, and that the men in our world begin to take this seriously too, standing up to these very men who think they can explain and dilute, or even under-state raping a woman, then rape will always be an issue.
Rape is still rape; even “consensual” rape is still rape. Be sure that she said yes, and wants to. If there is a hint of uncertainty, walk away. If you're too insecure to get one or any woman to bed you, then deal with your issues and try again. But by all means, do not take the drug-assisted rape route. It is still rape, and I believe should bear heavy consequences for the culprit.
She may not remember penetration – but she remembers not getting into your bed. That means she remembers!
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