Paper and Ink, Series

Paper and Ink: Femme Aimee (14)

By Emmeline Bisiikwa, Uganda:

All dangerous words originate from French; for example debacle, assassin, and catastrophe. Maybe it's a lethal language, who knows? I always knew there was a jinx when you over anticipate something but somehow you just can't stop yourself from playing scenarios of something you are looking forward to so badly in your head. Then somehow things don't go the way you expected and you get hurt. Is it the jinx or it just wasn't going to happen anyway?

I was so excited about this Valentine's Day. For the first time I was with someone I loved who I thought loved me too so it was a wrap as far as romance goes. Imagine my surprise when one thing after another kept going wrong until the whole day was just a sore pile of regrets. For starters it isn't a public holiday so I had to show up to work. As if that's not bad enough turns out my so called boyfriend doesn't even know my schedule. So he called to find out where I was to 'surprise me' and instead got surprised.

The rest of the day went downhill from there. He scheduled a doctor's appointment and was admitted because of health issues so the romantic night I had envisioned wasn't going to happen. So he decided to ignore my texts, probably because he knew I would quarrel over him cancelling our plans or not making the plans that I wanted.

When he eventually called late in the day and told me where to meet him that just set off all the wrong signals. Somehow all the dreams I had started with him picking me up, there was no such thing as me taking myself to a location. I was exhausted. Between work and running around to get his presents I did not have energy left over to take myself to a location I did not know. Besides he had ignored me all day. What guarantee did I have that a dinner would be any better? What if he was mean to me?

So I did the only thing I could. I cancelled. He threatened, argued, begged but I just was not going to compromise for a little over 1 hour and at that take my self all the way across town for that. In came the accusations, how I didn't feel like he cared and he should have tried harder. He believed he had done his best but that just wasn't cutting it for me. I traded in my dreams and shattered hopes and relationship that night and opted for the cozy comfort of my bed. When the person you had joined hopes, dreams and memories with decided they didn't want the same things as you did, all you had left to you was moving on.

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