Paper and Ink: Femme Aimee (12)
By Emmeline Bisiikwa, Uganda:
I don't know when I started believing in love. The romantic kind of love that knocks you off your feet and holds you close till you recover. I knew someday I would find someone to love me and wanted it so badly. It could be the desperation that made me settle for so much less than I deserved. I met Mr. Almost Right who didn't have anything I needed but I just didn't want to be alone.
There was Mr. Somehow Right who had a bit of what I needed mixed with a lot of things that drove me cray cray. For every one thing he did to make me happy he made up for that by hurting me and breaking me into pieces. I kept waiting for him to change and in the process got myself in a corner where I couldn't leave because I expected better and more.
Mr. Maybe wasn't that much different. He seemed like a potential person to be with but he never could commit. He just wasn't ready and no amount of pushing or begging could get him ready. In fact he just kept running the more I tried to mold him into what I needed. He wouldn't call and when you did, he avoided your calls, wouldn't talk and when you tried to force it he put up his walls. It was all cat and mouse games with him.
Oh well, I am done making allowances for Mr. Less than Right. Every time I let one of those in, I lose a little of myself and also the desire to share my life with someone else. It kills my belief that there is someone there that fits me like a glove and is waiting for me. It makes me just want to give up and be alone 'cause noone comes close to all those things that I once thought were right.
I know that I owe it to myself to hang in there and wait. So am done letting the wrong people in or trusting that some guy on a white horse will sweep in to save the day. Am done holding on to past hurts and pushing away the person who could be mine. Am going to open myself up to the possibilities and wait for him. I owe it to the girl who dreamed up everything she needs to wait for him and have her Cinderella moment, forever.