Sloppy Wet Kiss: The Altar (6)

Sloppy Wet Kiss: The Altar (6)

By Tashinga Wazara, Zimbabwe:

Tinashe walked into the reception room with Peter, sharing a joke as they came in. Their chuckles were suddenly halted by the silence that was in the room. The music was still playing but everyone was just looking at Linda sitting at her table, crying, with Pamela standing next to her, looking as if she had just seen a ghost. The tension in the room was palpable. As soon as Tinashe saw this, he knew what had just happened. He couldn't quite figure out how it had happened but he could tell from Pamela's stunned face and the apparent devastation on Linda's face that somehow Linda had found out that Pamela was pregnant with his baby. He suddenly started feeling sick and his mind started racing as he tried to come up with an answer to the question that was inevitably going to be coming from Linda, which he imagined would be something like, 'Tinashe how could you cheat on me with my own sister?'. The more he thought about it, the best responses he could come up with were, 'I was drunk', and 'it was a mistake.' But he quickly realized that none of these responses would be good enough.

As Tinashe got to the table, Linda looked up at him through her tears and said, 'How could you do this to me? How could…' She failed to finish off her sentence as she broke down crying again. At this point everyone around them had moved from being confused by the drama that was unfolding in front of them to being curious. The deathly silence that had overwhelmed the room was now replaced by whispers as people were trying to interpret exactly what was going on. For now, all they knew was that Tinashe had done something wrong, and that by her demeanor, Pamela had something to do with it. Some thought about whether Tinashe had cheated on Linda with Pamela but they quickly discarded that thought; Tinashe was too good a man, and Pamela would never do that to her sister, they were so close and she knew how much Linda loved Tinashe.

Tinashe went up to Linda and knelt beside her and said, 'I'm so sorry baby. It was a mistake' but this just made Linda cry even more. Linda's mother, becoming increasingly distressed, then walked up to the table and said, 'What is going on? What happened?' but neither Tinashe nor Linda said anything which made her angry and she shouted, 'Tell me now! What the hell is going on?!' and then Linda stammered, 'Pamela is, she's…..she's pregnant with Tinashe's baby'.

There was a loud gasp from the guests which almost seemed choreographed because everyone gasped at almost the same time but this time, no whispers, just utter complete astonishment. Linda's mom then turned to Pamela and said, 'Pam is this true?' and Pamela, now with tears rolling down her cheeks, said, 'Yes Mom, it's true. Well, actually, I'm pregnant with twins'. Another loud gasp from the guests, except that this time it was accompanied by murmurs. The people couldn't contain themselves. It was like watching a soap opera and the plot kept on thickening.

Pamela began questioning the wisdom in her specifying that she was pregnant with twins. She could have saved that part for later. Linda was now in a daze. It was hard enough for her to deal with the fact that her husband had cheated on her with her sister and got her pregnant but then the fact that Pamela was pregnant with twins just made it more surreal; it was nearly impossible to process.

Suddenly, there was commotion in the reception room. Tinashe's family was disappointed and his uncles and aunts were shaking their heads wondering how Tinashe could disgrace them in such a manner. Linda's family was angry. Angry at Tinashe for being a promiscuous bastard and angry at Pamela for betraying Linda; she didn't deserve this. And then there were the neutrals. They were enjoying this. This was arguably the best wedding any of them had ever been to. People were going to talk about this wedding for years and they were a part of it.

In the midst of all this commotion, Linda, who had now stopped crying, got up and shouted, 'Tinashe, how could you do this to me? I have loved you with all I am for the past four years and you have been the only man in my life. How could you marry me knowing you had slept with my sister? What kind of man are you? And Pamela, how could you do this to me? I know you and I have had our issues but do you hate me THAT much? Anyway, I hope you're happy now because you've managed to ruin my life!' Linda then turned round and started walking towards the door and when she got to the door she turned round and said, 'Oh and by the way, Tinashe, do you remember when I said I had something to tell you and that I was going to tell you when we got home? And do you want to know why I have been avoiding alcohol and drinking juice all day? Well, it's because I'm pregnant too.' and she turned round and walked out of the room.

Linda's father, a big burly man, then got up and started towards Tinashe, shouting, 'I'm going to kill you!' Before he got to Tinashe he stopped and clutched his chest, breathing heavily … he dropped to the ground. He had just had another heart attack.

Founder and Editor in Chief of the Readers Cafe Africa

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