By Tashing Wazara, Zimbabwe:
It is pitch-black. I can hear voices around me and I can tell that there are people talking. I can't really make out what they're saying but I can tell that they're whispering, as though trying not to wake me up. Every part of my body hurts. I can't feel my left leg.
Suddenly my heart starts beating fast and I try to open my eyes. As I do so, the light in the room blinds me and for a couple of seconds I can't see. Then everything comes into focus. I am in a hospital. I see my brother on the left with his wife and they are holding hands looking at me. I look to my right and I see my mother sitting in a chair next to my bed. Another man, whom I do not recognize is standing at the foot of the bed with a bible in his hand. I look further down and I can see my wife, well soon to be ex-wife, Mary standing there, afar off, looking at me. As soon as I open my eyes everyone gets excited and my brother's wife rushes out to go and call the nurse. The nurse comes and she puts a torch in my eye and looks at my pupils and checks my pulse and then she says, 'Mr Moyo, if you can hear me please blink twice.' I blink twice, slowly. Then the nurse says, 'Well done Mr Moyo. Please follow my fingers with your eyes.' She then puts two fingers in front of me and starts moving them from side to side and I follow them with my eyes and she says, 'Excellent Mr Moyo.' She then turns to my brother and his wife and tells them that I am fully conscious now and seem to be aware of what is happening. She then tells them that she is going to go and call the doctor and then she will let them know after the doctor assesses me. She asks everyone to leave the room. At this point I still have no idea what has happened to me or what I am doing in the hospital. All I know is that I have an oxygen mask on and my body hurts. I begin to think hard about how I got into this position and my mind keeps drawing a blank. Suddenly it all comes back to me.
It all started about six weeks ago when I decided to leave my wife for this girl I had fallen in love with called Nyasha. My wife Mary and I had been having problems for a long time. Nyasha had been there for me and we would see each other every single day. Eventually our relationship grew into something more serious. I loved my wife, but our relationship had deteriorated so much that we stopped communicating beyond 'hi' and 'bye'. It was bad. I wasn't sure if she still loved me. At the same time Nyasha was filling the void in my heart that Mary had since abandoned and I was seriously considering leaving my marriage and being with Nyasha. It didn't make sense for me to be with Nyasha since she was a sex worker but then I had grown to genuinely care about her and we were happy together. I loved her but I would only leave my wife for her if I knew that my wife didn't love me anymore.
One night I came home late and I found Mary waiting up for me. She never used to wait up for me and so I knew that something was up. She sat me down and said that she needed to talk to me. Immediately I knew it. This was it, she was about to tell me that she wanted out of our marriage. As I said before, I loved Mary but she had stopped loving me and as much as I wanted to fix our marriage and for our relationship to be normal again she had shut me out. I know I had started seeing Nyasha but I only saw Nyasha because my wife wasn't there emotionally for me anymore. As I sat on the other side of the bed, Mary looked at me teary eyed and was about to deliver what I believed was the final nail in the coffin that was our marriage. 'She wants a divorce' I thought to myself and I realized that I wouldn't be able to handle it if she ended it. The pain would be too great. It would be better if I ended it. That way it would somewhat cushion the blow. So I stopped her just before she started talking and I told her that before she spoke I had something I needed to say to her first. I then told her that I was in love with someone else and that I wanted a divorce. It felt weird as I said it because I hadn't planned on saying it and the shell-shocked look on her face made me doubt whether I had interpreted her intentions of wanting to have a talk with me correctly but then again we had drifted apart so much. It couldn't have been anything else.
The next day after work I had gone to Nyasha's apartment and told her that I had decided to divorce Mary and be with her and she said, 'What?! No, you can't do that. You know I like you Mbeki, I like you a lot but I am a prostitute. I sleep with men for a living and I make good money from it and you can't ask me to stop, not for you, not for anyone. This is who I am. You can't make a girlfriend or a wife out of me. It's just not who I am. I'm sorry.' We argued for some time but then Nyasha was not having any of it and eventually I stormed out of her apartment and started walking towards my car. What had I done? All this time I had thought that Nyasha wanted something serious but now I realized that she was happy with how things were. And now, I had told my wife that I was seeing someone else and that I wanted a divorce. This was a nightmare. As I got to my car, two men suddenly approached me and told me to give them my wallet and my car keys. I tried to resist and a fight ensued. A third man came. I remember one of the men hitting me on the leg with a pole. I don't remember much after that.
Now I know why I am in hospital but the excruciating pain I feel in my body is now way less than the pain I feel in my heart. The doctor comes in and does some routine tests then after he's done my family is allowed back in again. I get anxious because I want to see Mary again. At least if she comes in then it's a sign that there's still hope. I'll tell her I made a mistake and that I'm really sorry. I'll do anything, just please don't divorce me. I love you and I want you back. I want us back. I see my uncle and his wife come in, then the priest and my mother. And I wait for Mary but she doesn't come in. I wait a while, she's probably gone to go buy coffee or something but she'll be back. I wait and I wait and I wait but she doesn't come. Mary's gone.
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