Poetry, Tale Africa

Deep Within

By Inet Morudu, South Africa:

Deep within is the only place where I stare and it's not rude.

Here I answer recklessly to my satisfaction.

It is here where I sit cross legged and collage my life to be picture perfect.

Cut out the bad, the failures and the heartache,

Trim the poverty and dump the uncertainty of life.

Deep within is where I remember

What it feels like to be the favored daughter of God.

How I used to sit at His feet and

Pay attention to ALL that He commanded me to do.

It is exactly here where I wonder

what happened to the days when

I would shamelessly copy David:

“I have asked the Lord for one thing;

one thing only do I want:

to live in the Lord's house all my life,

to marvel there at his goodness”.

Deep within I want it all back.

I have wandered too far from my shepherd and

now I am lost. I am vulnerable to preying wolves

in a land filled with

doubt, pretence, pressure, loneliness, bitterness,

insecurities, fear, shame and lies.

Deep within I seek answers,

 why am I still here with you when

 there is a promised land of eternal joy

awaiting my cleansed soul?

It is here that I realize that your humanly limited love

 has kept me captive. I am your slave.

I serve you to your satisfaction with a tear stained face,

 but yet you show no mercy. It is all about you.

Have you not made me sacrifice so much that

 I can barely recognize myself? Have you not neglected me enough?

Deep within is where my desire to be truly loved, romanced,

cherished, valued and appreciated comes out.

Now, you listen and listen carefully. Deep within a storm is forming.

Be ready. I will be renewed from deep within.

 No longer will I be your envious shadow.

But I will be who God says I am, from deep within.

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