On life and relations

By Edger Kasunsu, Uganda:

It's a lesson that has probably taken me too long to learn. I have come to the realisation that ‘it is not good to be too good to people’, it's a disease. That's a lesson I learnt from a person I least expected to learn it from. I had never given it much thought before, but I like the whole idea. So after a night of thinking about it, I extrapolated the statement to a few more paragraphs. And if you think otherwise about what I am about to say, please tell me.

Being too good, to a certain extent makes you naïve or appear to be naïve. It makes you lose the ability to stand up for what you believe in. When someone makes you happy, make it known to them, and when someone makes you unhappy, also make it known to them. You may make some people unhappy with it and they may not give you the respect you deserve at that moment, but they will still give it to you. The other thing about being too good is that it makes you too available. Being too available for people is not good. By that, I mean only a percentage of your time should be given to the people around you and the other percentage they should look for it. It’s not bad and it’s normal. When they start to search for that remaining percentage of your time, it will increase your self-esteem by making you feel wanted, which is good for you as a person. It will also make you look mature in the eyes of those people (not that you are immature). It’s good to be mysterious to a certain degree; it’s good for people to also take the time to figure you out.

Life is like a battle field, and the people around you are like enemies; it will be hard for you to enjoy the battle if your enemies know you inside out. So, it’s good to take the time to be mysterious, make your smile a little harder to find and to use some self-control to contain your excitement. Because it is in excitement that we let go of most of our secrets, and people without secrets are like books without plots, boring. One of the coolest things about being that is that it gives you the ability to be yourself, to make a decision based on your belief system and not because there is someone that you may hurt or please if you make the decision. People hate a person who is too open, who speaks too much and smiles in excess. They will always take you for granted and think that your feelings do not need to be respected. That is because they will think that you are a permanently happy being and nothing they do to you can hurt you.

Be the person that God wants you to be without fear or favour. Please the people that can be pleased and forget about those that can't be pleased. Trying to please everyone is a sign of having no confidence in your own abilities. Show a little pride in who you are, but DO NOT let it consume you. Do not think too much about what people will say or what you think they will say or what they are actually saying. Give to those who need anything from you, but do not give until there is nothing left to give; this applies only to relationships. Relationship here means a connection between two or more people, not necessarily the male-female connection.

Those are some of my thoughts on life and relationships. If you think I am wrong somewhere somehow, tell me in the comments. It will also help me learn. Thanks.

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