Illusions of a Bachelor, Series

Illusions of a Bachelor: Generals in Big Brother House

By Aaron Aroriza, Uganda:

I was preparing to write about this whole general thing in my country – I mean the general situation we are having with this general letter. But then I happened to espy something on my facebook wall about our current representative in the Big Brother Africa house – Denzel, God bless him.

Judging from the comments I've seen on facebok about him, he is loathed and liked in almost equal measure. His haters are passionate about it, his lovers are passive; they just like him but they are not over the moon. Most Ugandans think he's a misrepresentation of the Ugandan male race. They argue Gaetano, the guy who had sex with a South African woman – Abby in the house in some previous big brother Africa show was the perfect representative.

He showed us what men ought to be. They argue. To be fair, maybe he showed us what men used to be. Denzel on the other hand might be showing us what men are going to be. He is living ahead of his time. But he is not living far from that time.

You see, every time I watch a movie about old age warfare, I can't help but wonder whether any solidier would survive long those days. And then it strikes me; it's the brave – those who were the real men of that time that would join the army. And while they were in the battle field having their balls cut off, the men who had earlier hidden under the beds afraid to join the army would be in bed with these gallant men's wives having a ball.

No, we are not great grandsons of the fittest who survived. Most of us are great grandsons of cowards who hid under the bed while brave men enrolled into the army to guard their villages. No wonder our women no longer respect us! But why would they respect us? In the old times, one of the major reasons women got married was so that men could provide security for them. These days we have generals who hide under Diaspora beds and squeal from there while some women walk the streets with their pens fighting for freedom. The other major reason for women to get married was so that they could have some strong manly figure in their life. Now we have representatives who wear bras on international television, spend time decorating their lips and seem not to generally be sure about their sexuality. You would blame those men of course but you should also wonder why it's them that get chosen to represent your country in the big house.

Women expected men not to be emotionally weak. They knew men had control of their emotions. Those days a man wasn't even expected to cry. These days we have generals who can't control their emotions. They will walk the streets jumping up and down in celebration of mere promotions. Generals of those days would annihilate an entire enemy army thousands of miles from home and ride back into their village like they were from a short call. Oh, and I don't mean a short call of duty. I mean a short call of nature.

Nature has generally given us the kind of generals and house representatives we deserve. It has also given modern man the kind of wife he exactly needs but would not want. And most of all, it has given you writers like me.

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