By Andrew Pacutho, Uganda:
I find myself hunched over pieces of paper and sometimes on my phone writing. Actually I am sitting in the barbers chairs, taking advantage of a slight malfunction in equipment to punch out this final copy of my last letter as a single man.
Wow, someone should have told my organising committee that I am really not an early riser. Blame them when I look like a zombie in the wedding picture. I really do not know what to write. I am anxious, I am afraid at times and on accession downright frantic.
The last few weeks have been hectic. What with the final payments on cakes, venues, cars, getting my suit ready and of course your amazing gown; I thought this day would not come. And now that it is here I am just a mess of emotions. I worry if all will go according to plan with the worst case scenario in my mind being that your dad stands outside the church saying, “hey I changed my mind, you can't have my daughter”.
As always the fear of this new life freaks me out. No longer shall I be flying solo, the lone ranger or my own man, now I shall be a husband, a lover and a father. My bed will have to get bigger and so will my heart if I am to love you better. I feel like the first astronauts to go into space. This is an unknown realm for me after all I have been single all my life.
There is just so much going on. Thank God for best friends and best men 'cause I don't think I trust myself to even get dressed properly right now.
I imagine you walking down the aisle, beautiful and radiant as ever. How could one man be so lucky? You walk in amidst friends and family, smiling, laughing and some even crying (tears of joy ofcourse). I imagine all the men that would be your husband and smile because you chose me out of all the knights in armour. You take my arm and this time it's different, it's not the same as when we took walks arm in arm; this time its firm, is steady, its warm.
For the most split of seconds, time is frozen as I catch a glimpse of your face through the veil. You wear a smile on your lips and yet your eyes are moist. I see you swallow a lump; it's too early for tears. I almost can't hold mine in either. In that moment we are alone, and in that moment we reaffirm the reason we are here. Your grip in the crook of my arm gets tighter as you let go of your fathers arm, no longer daddies little gal, and into my arms, a woman, my lover and soon to be wife.
I am sure it shall be more awesome than this in reality. I waited for so long to share my heart and you came along, now you get to share both my heart and my life as before family, friends and God we become one.
Time to get into the cars to the church…here is to sharing eternity together and waking up to your beautiful face every morning.
P.S. I Love You
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