From the outside
By Aloikin Ikon, Uganda:
When you've grown up around abusive male relatives, you recall the beginning of their relationships: How they dated the woman in their lives, and how smitten these girls were by them. Then as the relationships progressed, you recall the phone calls of crying girls, the phone calls being avoided, the doors that were shut in those who much as tried to follow up on an explanation. You remember wanting so badly to tell these girls as a child what they were getting themselves into but there was that loyalty to family that had to be respected. Blood is thicker than water right? And besides who would listen to a child? What do they know about life and love?
So you sat by and watched as these women came through all excited, and left bruised, broken, battered and all and, you carry that guilt into your adulthood. But the best thing you can do is to do better. Live a life of the opposite you witnessed.
Years later you watched as these men walked different women down the aisle and relatives celebrated that finally the man had “settled down” and built a family. You recall the faces of the women who came by with their children for child support and were chased away. You recall the labels “illegitimate” and “bastard child” being used on them even before they could learn how to call out “mama”.
So know and understand that every time you see a woman who takes it upon herself to speak out against the injustices against women and children that she might not have had all that happen to her. Sometimes, they’re just observers who watched all that happen and at the time were powerless to act in anyone's favour.