Defeat in my Victory

By Talent Mqongo, South Africa:

The feeling so intense and heavy lays a foundation beneath my heart

Nerves in the head protrude violently making the face unpleasant to stare

The fall of tears and rear view gestures has long settled for retirement

Lost in tracks of time so far I cannot differentiate night from day

Anger and pain for breakfast, later on its regret and sorrow for supper

I sense defeat in my victory as it swings in its final blow

Could it be the time wasn't sufficient or I just wasn't efficient?

She left, some died, plenty ran and only a few left viewing the end

Ceased discussing obstacles with those incapable to contribute to the solution

The bitter ancient taste of defeat painted the world with nothing but heat

Now I sense defeat, but I know I possess within me the victory

I applied a mathematical notion and subtracted the howling wolves of life

As I carry the cross, from furthering heights I smile towards its glow

The outcome to me had just been a dreadful ongoing mystery

Am glad that hope paired with courage and love with trust were all I could carry