By Kathryn Kazibwe:
It seems New Year resolutions will come and get you, even when you're determined to give them a wide berth! This year I had decided to stay away from thinking I could plan an entire year of my life in a few hours, just because it is the last day of the year. Yes, that is how long I previously took to think about what I needed to change in the New Year; a few hours. It was like “Oh, hey! It's New Year's Eve! Time to write down what I need to do better next year!” Needless to say, I ended up with a recycled list that I tucked between the pages of my Bible or journal and conveniently forgot about.
This year was 'enough' year. In the past month I have met and made friends with some amazing people who are all tired of the 'sit and wait' mentality that seems to pervade so many young people's minds, mine inclusive. I probably learnt more from these people in December than I learnt the entire year in school! They helped jolt my conformist mind to the awareness that I am what I make myself, or rather what I tell myself I am. The mind, as we all know, is a very powerful tool in shaping one's reality. Life is, after all, a series of moments during which one reacts to external and internal circumstances and makes decisions (consciously or otherwise). Seeing as this holds true for each and every being in existence, it obviously follows that one person's decision can and will be based on another's, and will influence yet another's.
I have made some poor choices myself, many of them irreversible. But in the same vein, I came to realize that beating myself up is another bad decision I do not want to make. Like someone wrote on Twitter, we all need to raise the quality of our sadness; not just anything should be given the power to make you sad to the point of depression, maybe even nothing should. Emotions are an important part of life, but they were not given to us in form of a rollercoaster ride that we have no control over. It always goes back to decisions! Choose to be happy, choose to be sad for a time, then snap out of it and plot a strategy.
Of course, it is easier said than done, which is why I chose to scrap the resolution making tradition; I will just DO. No need to make a whole ceremony out of it. Of course I realize now that what I was scrapping was not the resolution-making, but the whole drama that goes with setting unrealistic and useless bars for me and then proceeding to walk right under them into the next New Year. So my resolution, I can say, is to get off my behind and do something about my reality, and hopefully impact someone else's as well, to live, and quit following, and obviously, to raise the quality of my sadness.
And I have already had a dose of 'quality sadness', with two deaths in the family within the first hour of 2013. Not the happiest way to start the year, eh? I'm certain many others have also found themselves in a not-very-happy New Year, having lost a brother, a son, a cousin; a sister, a daughter, an aunt. But in spite (or maybe because) of this, we have a lot to be thankful for in crossing over into the New Year, with new hope and the great gift of time. Happy New Year.
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