By Kathryn Kazibwe:
I was rummaging through my treasure chest recently, and I stumbled upon something I wrote a few years back, when I was in O-Level. The title itself makes me shudder! But this is the whole point of collecting my sequins and sapphires, isn't it? So, drum rolls please, I present to you 'An Ode to Youth' by an earlier version of Kathryn.
AN ODE TO YOUTH!
Ok, it's not really an 'ode', but I find that word really cool so I thought I'd take this chance to use it! Anyway, a wise man once said age ain't nothing but a number. I suspect it was either Dorian Gray, or the pioneer of 'sugar daddy'-ism. Either way, this person must have been high on something, say Bobi's breath. So, forget what he said, here's what I think age is. Age is wrinkled skin, aching joints, and stale or (God forbid) no slang at all. Worst of all, age is more responsibility! Doing stuff right, even/especially when it hurts. That's what you're supposed to do as an adult.
Yesterday I had a little talk with my mom about how I am not allowed out of home all holiday, yet my friends are busy killing it every night. It was the “I'm an adult!!!” conversation, just like in the movies. Here's the piece of wisdom I took away from the ensuing lecture; most young people only want the pretty side of adulthood. The part where there's no jealous teacher with kaweke forcing you to butcher your luscious locks, and you party as long as you want with no curfew biting your behind! So, basing on the long list of things my mom assured me are truly 'adult', I came up with an 'Adult Points' system to help people gauge their progress in said area.
10 Adult Points: Rather than sulk all day to manipulate your not-so-loaded mom into giving you money for that snazzy new hair do: suck it up, convince yourself that what people say about your appearance doesn't matter (yeah right!) and walk confidently into your favorite hangout like you haven't noticed the haystack on your head. NOTE: Getting embarrassed mid way through your friends trying to pretend you're not with them, and running back home doesn't count.
15 Adult Points: Instead of debating on whether to have yoghurt or a soda for break, decide to have neither. Save all your extra money for a rainy day. No, being the only one in your circle without 'glads' does NOT constitute a rainy day! Think more along the lines of your parents having just enough money to cover your school fees, and none for pocket money. It might be hard to see right now, but planning farther than two minutes into the future actually helps.
15 Adult Points: Follow the rules. First actually read the rule book which you signed when you joined your school, understand all the rules, and then follow them. This includes those you find absurd, like 'No writing on the walls', because no one wants to know that “Kathy was here, 2011J”, and that you owned a black permanent marker. In the event that you find people interested in this information (most likely law-breakers like you), remember that breaking laws in the real world lands you behind bars, not just suspended from school. Gain 5 more points by persuading your friends to follow your lead.
20 Adult Points: Greet Mr. Grumpy when you bump into him in town, even though he ratted you out to your dad about your horrible behavior, and got you two weeks of punishments. OK, if greeting him is a bit of a long shot for you, here's an offer: For 5 points, restrain yourself from 'accidentally' shoving him into the roadside vendor's wares and hurrying off, hoodie on. That's just not cool. Funny, definitely, but not cool, or adult at all. The guy simply wants the best for you! No, really, he does.
Note: I will not be embarking on attaining these points. Rather, I am taking a page out of Peter Pan's book.
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