Illusions of a Bachelor, Series

Illusions of a Bachelor: Happily Married

By Aaron Aroriza:

“By all means, get married: if you find a good wife, you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher,” said Socrates the great 5th century BC philosopher. We don't have to be rocket scientists to figure out what kind of marriage he had. Someone should have told him that if he wanted to be happy he should have remained a bachelor.

But of course there are some people who would have chosen to tell him that he should have been in a  'same sex marriage' if he had wanted to be happy. That theory of happiness is not yet tested and our parliament seems not to want to give it the light of day. Matter of fact, in my rather twisted opinion, even 'different sex' marriage should be illegal – it has done a lot of harm. No kind of marriage should be legal in my-again-twisted opinion.

Take adultery for example – a sin that appears in God's Ten Commandments. If it weren't for marriage, no one would commit adultery. Okay, people would still fornicate but that never made it to the Ten Commandments.

It's because of marriage that the word divorce exists. And with divorce comes all tribes of problems: stress, fights over child custody, stigma, pressure from relatives, court battles over property ownership, death threats and sometimes death itself (murder and suicide in equal measure); All this and more resulting from marriage.

And because people can't keep their hands off marriage, the world is getting over-populated. Not that procreation would stop if people weren't getting married but what if 'different sex marriage' were to be criminalized and 'same sex marriage' legalized? Population growth would seriously decrease and sooner or later – if it is indeed true that some people are born gay – those that feel the biological need for same sex marriage would be extinct. Yes, in a world where the gay are allowed 'same sex' marriage and then controlled from cheating on their partners with the opposite sex, all those with gay genes would become extinct. So if the world, especially the church, hates homosexuality so much, why won't it welcome same sex marriage?

Ah, a world where anyone would marry anyone they wanted irrespective of the gender. Now that's the kind of world we've given birth to (pun intended). A world where those in the marriage institution have shown so bad an example that those still outside of it, and a result of it, are beginning to look for all kinds of alternatives; those who can do without marriage – celibacy/eternal bachelorhood/singlehood, those who can't do without marriage – 'same sex marriage'!  All because once upon a time there was an institution in which most people ran berserk. They must have mistaken it for a mental institution. Wouldn't the Kardashians lend credence to that assertion?  Someone should have made the marriage institution illegal long ago.

Can you imagine an institution where the person you trust with your life in nakedness decides to rape you? Yes, there is even a name for it: Marital rape. Now, imagine that. Not that your gay partner wouldn't rape you.

Women have fought for gender equality all because of the challenges they faced in marriage. They seem to be winning that war. In fact they are doing so well that the girl child has taken centre stage and the boy child has been shoved into the gutters. Sooner than later, men will also start to fight for gender equality.  And I beg to be forgiven for alleging that all these wars are a result of the marriage institution.

And how about the spread of HIV/AIDS in marriage; isn't that murder? I mean, one partner commits adultery, sometimes defilement and rape, at times incest and contracts the virus which is then transmitted to the partner who has the marital obligation under the institution of marriage to always serve the other partner's sexual needs. Hasn't this institution played a big role in this mass murder?!

Of course marriage has its own pros but whether it has more pros than cons has become highly debatable. Not that I would be in the position to know the cons – I'm an outsider to that institution and I don't see very many happy faces in there. No wonder Obama staged a happy marriage act and the whole world worshipped him like a God for it. To pull off a happy act in that institution isn't human.

But why am I even beating around the bush? Wedding meetings are the real reason marriage irks me. If anything is to be outlawed, wedding meetings should be top priority. And if they can't outlaw them atleast they should make it illegal for one to attend a wedding meeting. Now, that's a law that would receive a lot of cooperation in its enforcement stage.

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