The world’s greatest Lab!
By Christopher Kato:
A visit to the laboratory or lab as is commonly referred to was such a thrilling experience in high school. We were awed by the strange chemicals and the aura of the entire setting. One wanted to touch everything unfamiliar to them, mix this and that chemical and naively observe if and how they react. As the teacher laboured to explain what happens when the hydrogen and chlorine mixed, you curiously lit the Bunsen burner and stealthily spat in its holes to give your ears a treat of snake like hissing sounds.
Now when you find yourself in such a lab setting for what appears like eternity, you surely have more reasons to be happier than Steven Kiprotich. You have more lessons to learn than Neil Armstrong and more adventures to enjoy than John Speke.
This is why those of us in Uganda should enter our way hustle free to The Guinness Book of World Records as the happiest species to have ever lived on mother earth.
You see, it is in Uganda where every Tom, Dick and Harry wakes up in the morning and if he feels like testing the waters of leadership, he can easily find himself being addressed as Honorable. Shout out to Miss Alengot… Aged 19, she is one of, if not, the youngest legislators in the world. Jury is still out on her abilities.
You can clearly see gamblers in our front desk offices, classrooms, hospital wards, banks, armies and police uniforms. But who cares? They are only trying their game out in the lab! That's why a pastor will hold a microphone, make a prophecy and say a presidential candidate X will die before the Election Day just to test how many heads will roll; the reason why a commerce teacher will put the chalk aside and try his talent at managing a nation’s football team, just to see what he can do besides giving students strokes of a cane every morning and making millions of dirty money by fleecing unsuspecting parents.
In this part of the continent, leaders try out new governance modules and fantasies. Even when something has never worked out and will only work after Jesus returns Leaders here will try out for the sake of it. Which economist suggested that you can fix gross youth unemployment by dishing out money to financially illiterate youth who have never managed anything beyond their pocket money? I guess it is the Ugandan way of giving micro-economics a try.
Who said you can appoint a mobile sign post of arrogance and gender insensitivity who saw no sense in the Domestic Relations Bill to oversee a ministry charged with gender and social development issues? That is what goes on in this lab.
Which history books advise that you can rip people of their inherent rights to free expression and bail and expect them to lick your feet in approval? I am glad I am living in a laboratory!
You just can’t miss the beauty of this lab where an investor will wake up and cut down a natural forest and replace 100 year old trees with sugar cane. Don’t blame him. He is only experimenting what Ugandan anger and resilience taste like or if Beatrice Anywars exist.
It is in this gifted by nature lab where a leader tries out making every homestead a district in a bid to increase service delivery and expect the cost of public administration to remain low. This is the only lab where a leader will only eat with those of his family and test if the rest will clap in admiration. Oh, the magic lab! By the way, this is the only lab where a public accountant will experiment channeling government money into private accounts, apparently not to steal, but to see how efficiently the mechanism works. We surely have all the reasons to be among the lucky few members of this lab where anything, however crazy and obnoxious, is possible.
God, I love this lab that is Uganda!