By Owuor Kuyoh:
Dude, you know all this time I've felt so distant from God. You know that feeling of being so far removed, so alone, like I was behind the glass of God's memory museum. I'm on stage watching others have an encounter with God; eyes closed, hands raised, knees to the floor. I tried. Maybe it would work if I did the same. It didn't. Maybe God is behind closed eyes. He isn't. Then it hit me, that the hands I was raising were the same ones I used to unhook her bra yesterday.
Call it what you want, catching rubs, making out, hanky panky, doing the naughty etc ruins intimacy with God. God wants our bodies to be kept pure for a reason, that we may enjoy intimacy with Him. The minute you share a kiss with the sweltering hot guy in that bash, the minute your hands go under your girlfriend's top you are ruining intimacy with God. It's probably why you feel guilty afterwards. You feel robbed and you made someone else feel the same way. If that feeling escapes you, if you can define a kiss as a joyless prerequisite to getting naked then something is wrong. So you have no business knowing or finding out what turns him/her on unless you are married. Living in a hyper-sexualized generation doesn't help. Our media has made sexual purity a hard value to conform to and we have grayed up God's standards with our own in order to find a perfect middle ground. But there's a problem with that…
And it started so innocently, one day we're seated on the couch watching a movie and it's like something else just took over. I can't remember how I ended up staring at the double line of the pregnancy test in my hand. We just kept pushing the lines, it's like we wanted to answer the question “How far is far enough?” I think we asked the wrong question but got an answer either way….
God doesn't care for excellence as much as He does for obedience. When He says that there should not be “even a hint of sexual immorality”, He actually means it. Isn't that too high a standard? No one can even get there, so now what's the point? For crying out loud, I have a better chance finding Nemo than I do at not hinting at this purity thing! Am I right? So isn't it better to just have my own standards, like a fusion of God's and mine? Rather than have black and white I'd be comfortable with a few shades of grey…even better, 50 shades of grey! That way I could try out which shade is in fashion and switch the style up. Perfect! I love it! This works for me, I can shift my boundaries based on my preference. She likes to make out? Perfect my fence is right by that make out. His fingers won't do the walking? Cool we'll work with that. See, sex isn't just penetration. It starts all the way from foreplay and arousal. That's why God has such a high standard, because he knows that for men, our sexual needs can be met from Megan Goode on an A4 paper or Paula Patton on a 5 second screenshot; and for women a 6 inch battery stick is guilty as charged (pun intended).
We may not understand why God set such a high bar but I think it was to protect us from the issues that people have to deal with marriage, concerning sex. Just imagine being in a space where you have to confess all your sexcapades to your spouse and it's not like you'll be high-fiving each other for all those frogs you played lip wrestling with. Our example should be Christ, and it cost something to know and acknowledge Christ but it cost a lot more to live like Him. Are you willing to pay the price of avoiding the sensual scenes in movies, series and music videos? I once went to this fancy restaurant and ordered for a black forest cake, unknown to me the waiter for some unexplainable reason put it in the microwave so when it came to me it looked like melted cream and steaming beans instead. It's like he had taken something that was rightfully mine and robbed me of everything it represented; from the appearance, to the taste, to the thought of satisfaction to come. Everything was ruined and I was mad. I couldn't take that as cake and I didn't even want cake anymore! I wouldn't want that feeling to be reflective of when my wife tells me of her past and I don't think any one of us wants that to be our story.
“I really didn't know what to do when I saw those double lines and for a moment I wished it wasn't me in my shoes. All this time I knew we should have stopped playing bed games. Trust me, we wanted to stop, we just didn't mean to. It was so much fun but now all I have is pain. We've gotten to that point where the pain eroded the pleasure.”
God has called us to a life of purity not to live with pain. A call is preceded by a command, that there should not even be a hint of sexual immorality in us. That means living a life with defined boundaries and let it not be one of those -how far is too far – boundaries. See, obedience is a fixed standard, you can't half obey, you either do or don't. So count the cost of obedience to God's call. It's a tall order, it's challenging, but it can be done (Job 31:9-11). Obedience is costly and takes commitment and many of us will have to count the cost and commit to live by God's standard. Take a purity vow and commit to it. Print it out and carry it with you to remind you of your commitment. Pick a few of your trusted friends and allow them to hold you accountable and allow them to meddle in your life. Pray. Pray. Pray
See, sexual impurity isn't a demon that you go for ashes and sackcloth, 40 day fasting and deliverance from. It's not like a tumor that you yank out from the inside. It's a character issue, a habit that is built over bad decisions made in sequence. Deliverance won't deliver you from bad decision making. Character needs work. So in as much as you may be free from the power of sexual immorality, you are not free from the habit of it until you make the continuous decision to live in purity.
Jesus is knocking. He wants freedom to enter every room in your house, every part of your life. Don't keep this door locked.
Oh and I had chocolate fudge cake instead.
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