Series, The Apprentice

The Apprentice: If girls run the world, then who needs men?

By Kizzy Katawonga:

Who runs the world? Girls.

That's what Beyonce wants us to believe with her hit song. So does Alicia Keys who sings Superwoman. I hear a lot of these songs lately. Call them women's empowerment anthems. There is a tsunami of women's lib and empowerment that is sweeping modern society like never before. It's great to see women finally being recognized, appreciated and celebrated for their uniqueness and contributions to this world.

However, there is a down side to this new wave; men and manliness are being swept away. I see more than ever, men being despised, disrespected, pushed aside, valued less, vilified and loathed.

In the last couple of millennia, men have been top dogs while women have been merely considered property or at best, ABM's – automated baby machines. I laughed when I saw a scene from a Disney classic Beauty & The Beast, where Gaston the antagonist tells our damsel Belle, that women shouldn't read because they'll start thinking and that could become troublesome.

Seriously?! Was it because men at the time knew education of women would expose their domination as a falsehood? I don't know, but as funny as it was to hear such a ridiculous statement, many men in the past and even now still believe that. That's why girls were never sent to school. It was a rather obtuse way of keeping women in check.

However, as we entered a more enlightened age in the last few decades, women have finally broken free of so many of those ignorant ways. Women are now educated, highly successful career-driven individuals contributing so much to modern society. We even have affirmative action and various gender based incentives to help women succeed faster and further than ever before. Thank God we now value women as they deserve; well much more than before any ways.

Women have more say, exposure and opportunities than any other time in history. So then, what's the problem?

The problem is an ever increasing sense of reprisal against men and manliness. After years of being undermined, there is a generational anger possessed by a majority of women who feel it's time men paid for all the suffering of mistreated women going back millennia. An undertone of loathing and vengeance permeates the attitudes of a lot of women today. Too many generations of abused mothers passing on their pain and frustrations on to their daughters has left very little room for men to be considered anything more than dogs who want to hump anything in a skirt (and now even anything not in a skirt).

It doesn't help that these feelings have been re-affirmed by the selfish actions of millions of men still trying to dominate. A lot of women are justified in their feelings. Too many actually! So many mothers forced to raise children alone because they were abandoned by the fathers has led many a modern woman to believe they can actually do it all and only need men as sperm donors.

Several single mothers today work and provide, protect and teach their children; apparently very successfully. Why bother with a man? Many men too, are beginning to believe that women are actually superior creatures and won't even try any more to be responsible men in the home.

There's a rising trend of young successful career driven women who simply want to find a suitable sperm donor so they can have and raise a child on their own. They have money, time and historical proof on their side to show us, that indeed men aren't necessary. They are more of an inconvenience to be avoided if possible. Interestingly, I've observed that one of the overriding allures of Lesbianism stems from women believing that women make better lovers and companions than men. Hmmm…

So what about manliness then? Well, that's a bad word these days. Like Pedophile. Chivalry is dead or atleast on life support. Women don't seem to need men to open the doors for them or go out and toil for her all day to provide for them. On the contrary, women need men to stop being men.We are told to share our feelings, getting in touch with our feminine side, be vulnerable. Oprah had men crying and sharing their feelings and being vulnerable in front of total strangers on global television.

But it's still not enough that we aren't needed as fathers and providers. We're being asked to soften our looks, do our nails, wear makeup, texturize our hair, use moisturizer and go to the spa for mud baths. We wear earrings and shave our chest hair. All hail the metrosexual man—more like the girly man.

Rex Harrison in the classic movie, My fair Lady ranted “Why can't women be more like men?” Well he would truly kick himself now that the question has been so reversed!

Traditionally, men are supposed to be the strong ones, protecting their women and children from the elements. Men are supposed to go out and sweat to provide a life for their family, to lead with boldness and courage, turning chaos into order. Men are the vanguards of morality, education and progress; But not so much anymore.

So I ask; where does that leave men and manliness? What are we supposed to do? Who are we supposed to be? If all the traditional manly roles of provider, protector, head of the home can easily be handled by the modern woman, what then? If we aren't needed to be fathers who care, nurture and teach their children, what then? If we aren't the head of the home, looked to for guidance, strength and direction, what then? If we can't do manly things because they aren't needed, then what?

If girls run the world, what happens to the men?

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5 thoughts on “The Apprentice: If girls run the world, then who needs men?”

  1. First of all, allow me to say how much I love this article! I really enjoyed reading it. Frankly, because it appeals to my ego *sly smile*, that Beyonce has got you all riled up about gender roles in society.

    I’m sure you’ve heard the statement “Be a man!” or “Don’t be such a girl!” being said to someone on more than one occasion. Well, so have I. Strange, but true. It’s been said to me by chauvinists and “normal” people too. Every time I do something “girly”, I get the look. That smug look from guys that says, “Oh well, you’re just a girl/woman.” Sometimes it’s almost like everything I do is under scrutiny BECAUSE I am a woman, and if I fail, it’ll be first and foremost be because I am a woman and then maybe because I am incompetent – or maybe I am incompetent because I am a woman. Catch my drift?

    It’s no lie we live in a man’s world. The more successful women are, the more defensive some men become. It’s rather unfortunate that the good guys have to pay for the sins of their unserious brothers, but fact is, that’s the way it is.So you give us an inch and we take a mile. So what? If we say we’re running the world now, so what? Are we really running the world anyway? Look at China and America. The way I see it, America needs to step up it’s game; and in the same way, so do men.

    For women, it’s tough living out there. Fine, we’re being empowered and given numerous opportunities to extend our horizons but we’re doing it under a microscope. We’re under so much pressure to perform and be worthy of the positions we’re in, we feel we have to succeed – for the sake of our pride if not for anything else. Clearly/Evidently there’s a shift here. Women are becoming more and more independent. We’ve moved further and further away from the old dispensation and into a hip, modern and urban one. Gentlemen, if you can’t beat them, join them.

    Don’t hate the player; change the game.

    PS: The “girly man” has come of age all on his own. We’re not taking any credit for that. No judgement. Just saying.

    1. Iteti allow me to send you and other readers to this poignant and disturbing account from a man and father in his own experience as to some of the repurcusions of living in an age where men are villanised ->
      http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/can-a-dad-take-his-daughter-clothes-shopping-and-other-indignities-of-modern-dadhood/ Something is very wrong with the way society is trading one gender bias for another. I’m all for equality but what is happening now isn’t equality. Men in the past have made mistakes. Fathers have abdicated responsibilities. Boys have become street thugs and high school murders. But that doesn’t make the male gender evil or less than the female. That is my point. I take issue with the “Feminazi’s” who are the female quivalent of chauvanists. They are leading woman kind down a wrong path to maybe a dreamed utopia where women rule the world and men are little more than pets or slaves. That, is my point.

      1. Kizzy, I hear you loud and clear and I completely agree with you. “Feminazi’s” have bad manners :-). Bambi, I hope that dad will learn to deal with all the looks and the stares because the harsh reality of it is that he’ll definitely be getting more of those if he’s going to take his daughter shopping again. Every good side has a bad one. Which is my point. It’s not always going to be perfect. Just as there are Chauvinists, there are most likely bound to be Feminazi’s, and their existence honestly comes as no surprise to me. Women have learned to grow a pair over the years to face the [stares from] Chauvinists, and now, men (such as the guys from the goodmenproject.com) will have to grow a few more pairs to deal with the female equivalents of chauvinists.

        If your solution is to change the general public’s perception of the male species in a good way, by all means go for it! If anything, I’m in full support. There’s no question about it – men are needed; they are oh so very necessary. I wish I had a more practical solution for you, but I don’t. You have to understand that most of these so called “Feminazi’s” have been deeply wounded by the men they trusted (after all, it has to come from somewhere), the men they thought would love, care for and protect them. That ish comes from a very deep deep place for most of them and in that sense, the type of man they are ranting about is the only type of man they have been exposed to and even as it might not be right, this is their way of dealing.

        The good men honestly, are few and far, far between. If I was in a Feminazi’s shoes, I’d say to the world, “Show me a good man and I’ll quit!” But I see you, Mr Katawonga. Men are fixers, I’ve been told. You all can find a way to fix this somehow 🙂 Start a movement; a men’s lib or something. Chant, march, light a torch, throw a parade! Maybe we’ll hear you. I believe there is grace (for the guy with good intentions), somewhere somehow. The same way everyone needs some grace, so do these ladies. [Maybe a little love and tenderness can soften their hearts] 😉

        1. I thank you for your support. Lord knows I need it. I feel like one of those street preachers shouting at passing cars and everyone is shut in with the windows up. However I disagree with you on one thing. Good men are not few and far between. I wrote about here -> https://readerscafeafrica.com/2012/07/she-species/
          There are plenty of good men amongst us we just don’t know how to identify one anymore. We’re so good at recognizing the bad ones but i personally know so many.

        2. u must have dated all men to come to this conclusion that good men arent few. women r still far from running the world as this topic says but we should admit they are making great strides in reaching there. many of the so called activists r single women who out of bitterness want the rest of the women to follow their path.

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