Illusions of a Bachelor: Have we messed up?

By Aaron Aroriza:

There are some posters that littered the streets of Kampala a few months ago. Adverts on breast enlargement, hips enlargement, bum enlargement, penis elongation and enlargement and all sorts of other related adverts. You could tell business was going great for those entrepreneurs. You could also tell they had tapped into a ready market – a very big one at that.

This kind of artificial human transformation of course distorts natural selection and natural attraction.

A man who would have instinctively been attracted to a light-skinned, big butted, red-lipped, brown eyed woman with a lot of hair could instead end up with a naturally dark, small-butted, dark-lipped, red eyed woman with kinky hair who bleached her skin, went to a Chinese clinic for bum enlargement, uses red lipstick every day, has brown contact lenses and a wig woven onto her head.

He would have surely ended up with the kind of woman God had intended for another man whose natural attraction would be to the original attributes of the now transformed woman. Two men would be at a loss. One for the woman he didn't marry and the other for the woman he married. Two women too, would be at a loss.

Men have also learnt the art. The short ones wear 'high heeled men's shoes' if they want to appear taller, the genetically skinny ones can stuff themselves with steroids, bald headed ones can decide to conceal this fact by ensuring their heads are always clean shaven, the quiet shy ones can intoxicate themselves and momentarily seem bold and talkative and the small penise-d ones who think big is better can also visit the Chinese clinic or eat mulondo.

Now we get attracted to illusions and then ask ourselves why the divorce rate is so high. But the divorce is even the least of these problems if you ask me. I think, because people are getting married to people they wouldn't otherwise be getting married under natural circumstances, they might be giving birth to people that weren't supposed to naturally be here. People who won't be at peace with nature, people who don't like themselves that much, people who will kill other people for a hobby, people who will want to genetically modify every natural living thing and generally destroy the world while at it; People who won't respect humanity and will find the idea of manufacturing test-tube babies a worthwhile one.

But then again when you think about it, aren't we already manufacturing test-tube babies in our marriages?! If a genetically small penise-d man (naturally attracted to light skinned women) who got it artificially enlarged, married a genetically dark woman (naturally attracted to large penises for whatever reason)who bleached herself to appear light skinned and then they used condoms in the first years of marriage so they can first have fun before that 'bundle of joy' came into the picture, and then one rowdy night the condom burst and they ended up with a pregnancy, would we really call it a natural one?

For starters I would like to believe that the condom bursting action might actually distort the sperm race. Hence the fastest sperm might not be the one that wins. Then of course there is that factor of two people who in their natural state might never have been attracted to each other in the first place and therefore might not have been in God's original natural plan to bring up any children together. Now, that in my book might pass as test-tube 'pregnancy'.

Of course all this definitely has no intellectual or research backing but the next time you see the ills humans are doing in this world, the next time you hear news of global warming, bestiality, fathers defiling their own daughters, people blowing themselves up, ask yourself whether this really is a natural phenomenon. And while you are at it, you could also ask whether you yourself are indeed supposed to be in this world. Could it be possible that we've altered nature so much and ended up with a human race that should not have been here at this particular time?  Could it be the reason we are constantly asking ourselves what our purpose in this life and world is and not getting any conclusive brilliant answers? Could it be the reason we've created so many illusions?