By Andrew Pacutho:
I still catch myself watching you. Even before I poured out my heart, I was watching you. I know you said we cannot be together but I cannot help but watch. Not in sadness of the strictest form but that sadness that comes from memories of good times, from things once held dearly but are now far away.
What was it about you that bewitched me so? What was it about you that, when the tempest of present conquests subsided, the cool calm of your presence always rose to the surface bringing me peace?
What is it about you that even as I thought myself over you, your essence still plagued me like a song long played, its tune now lost, leaving behind haunting echoes and a throbbing heart? Even as I actively pursued others, you were never far; not as a fall back plan but as the original grand design.
So now I watch. I cannot hate you even if you have seared my heart in two, torn my dreams apart and drawn the curtain of midnight over my emotions. I have walked the desolate places searching for the cool of your love but have found instead the solace of your friendship. Alas I have to settle for this. Is friendship not driven by love even though it is not the kind I seek or desire? To have you love me, even if it's as a friend, is love enough.
So by these quiet pools I sit. I dwell longer than I should and from the deep waters your melodies haunt me. Like the wonders seen through a looking glass I am far from your love. But even a dreamer is allowed his dreams. And as I gaze upon your handsome form, I am drawn to the words spoken of old, “a drop of water does not wear out a rock by sheer force but by oft falling.”
Here I am falling for you again.
P.S. I Love You
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