Reflections

One mistake away

By Andrew Pacutho:

Over the years I have tried to wrap my head around the whole men issue. I have read all the books about it that I could find and have heard others' opinions on the same. I have heard countless conversations about it and this is what I have come to believe:

All the men out there that take pleasure in deriding their fellow men for their weaknesses, especially when these weaknesses are a result of growing up, are traitors. They are dishonest snobs. You see you cannot blame a child for being a child. So please stop beating boys up for being boys. When they grow up that is another matter.

Don't assume that all fatherless homes are the result of the fathers. Sometimes the reason is the mothers. I know of fathers who fight everyday to be a part of their children's lives but cannot. They are not absent because they want to be, but because they have no choice.

Don't assume that all happy women accredit great men for the joy they have. Sometimes they are like that because they are like that. The reverse is true, not all good men are a guarantee of lifelong happiness.

If being a man was about deeds then there would be some that never reach manhood and those that ascended into it earlier than they should.

Let's say that manhood is not just about a rite of passage or age but is a matter of responsibility. There are expectations of the different stages in life and I believe that when we recognise this and do what is required, then we are men regardless of the mistakes we may or may not make, after all, everybody makes mistakes, right?

Thus, all are granted the title of 'men/man' but have to prove to us every day that they deserve it. It's something we get up and do every day so in a way being a man is more a mindset than a set of actions.

Being a man is hard. Let's cut the men around us some slack, even those that totally disgust us. Let's extend mercy and grace. Instead of deriding them, let's square our shoulders and carry our own load remembering always that we are one mistake away from being like them.

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  1. Hear, hear. I have been preaching the same thoughts for a while now. Being a man is very hard not to mention being a great man. But the issue as you’ve so eloquently put is who defines being a good man? Who sets the standards? Are they realistic? Why is it so easy to label many as bad men or failures? And my favorite question, why is it that being a woman is somehow inherent to her physical nature yet being a man is a mindset that must be learned and proved?
    Great piece

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