By Musanete Sakupwanya:
And to finish off this lovely picture I'll give you two more reasons why good girls fall for bad boys. Deep breath everybody:
FACT: Good girls know what to reject, but also want to be 'pursued', and are therefore terrible at rejecting! Any guy knows (ladies please listen) that persistence will kick the butt out of any closed door…especially when it comes to girls! Bad boys exploit this to the maximum levels! We enjoy 'dissing' guys for coming up with these stupid lines to try and impress a girl, and yes, most of them are ridiculous, but they work! Why? A bad boy does not need your approval to get you; all he needs is your ATTENTION! His lines may be 'wack', but you heard them; he may say stupid things that are ugly to your heart, but you keep listening to them; you may have said “I don't like you that way”, but you still get messages from him…and you reply!
Sorry ladies, if you don't cut the guy out of your life completely, you're basically falling for the trick! He will keep coming at you, will say something that is going too far, and you may say you don't like that, but you never say “don't talk to me again”. In other words, you may reject some of his methods, but you haven't rejected HIM….and he knows it! After a while the good girl starts to think “but he's always been there”, and because most good girls suck at putting up boundaries that guard her heart, she starts to open up to him. She says personal things, starts to share deep stories about herself. Oh, and what about when the bad boy (or ANY boy for that matter) asks “What are you looking for in a man?” PLEASE DON'T ANSWER!!!! That's like giving him the key to your heart!
What's happening is that the more you talk to him, the more comfortable you are with him, the less his bad qualities bother you, and the more appealing he will become. How many amazing beautiful women have you seen walking around with absolute terrorists? How did it happen? The guy just stuck around. And when you're in trouble, guess who suddenly becomes a good listener; when you're feeling lonely, guess who magically appears in your inbox? You put a random ringtone so you knew it was him, because at some point you wanted to avoid him, or prepare yourself to deflect his nonsense…but now you can't wait to hear that tone, it relaxes you, it's familiar to you.
….you're dead meat because the guy's goal from the beginning was just to get the good girl. Good girls are trophies to bad boys, not too much more than that and his persistence is an ugly form of 'pursuing' that is devoid of any good intentions.
“But, but… I know he can change!” OH… MY……GOOOOOODNESS!!!!!!!!
That line has become the downfall of so many, which leads me to my final and most damning fact.
FACT: Good girls (and probably MOST girls) want to know they can impact someone positively, and bad boys apparently present the best opportunity for that impact to be seen by all around. This sounds noble, but is unfortunately linked to insecurity; a need to be significant, which all humans suffer from. We hear terms like “Behind every great man, there's a great woman” and other such declarations of a woman's need to control.
Yes, I said it. Need to control? What? You think I'm off on my own tangent? I'm sorry, but it's biblical. The last part of Genesis 3:16 says in the New Living Translation: “…you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you” (italics added by me).
How many women-inspired sayings have you heard about what a “real man” should be? How many women's websites have you seen with women believing they know what a good man should be like? “A real man can support me,” yes, and unfortunately that includes the rich drug dealer right? He's not excluded from that statement! Why is this important to note in the light of bad boys?
Well, a good boy is self-assured, a good boy is already on a path of righteousness, a good boy hears God, a good boy knows his standards, and how to apply them – a good boy did all that WITHOUT YOU! And that is a problem.
A good girl won't buy fully prepared meals, because she didn't cook them herself. A good girl wants a good man, but she wants to cook him herself! She wants to be the reason he became good, she wants him to tell everyone how “if it wasn't for her” he would be nothing; and so bad boys enjoy their greatest success, because of a woman's deepest insecurity.
The good boy just smiles as he walks past, but the bad boy takes in her every feature with that obvious look, which according to standards, is a dirty look but according to insecurity, has become a look of acknowledgement. The good boy's journey can continue with or without her, but the bad boy needs her. If she doesn't help him, who will? He'll be lost forever to his sinfulness.
And of course, she only thinks all this after she's already trapped in his spell. I say this because any self-respecting person can look at these points easily and say “but that's so silly…who falls for that…I'd never do that”, and you're probably right. Except when you've been exposed long enough and your sense has overridden your sensibility, you're no longer going to make sense!
Good girls falling for bad boys does NOT MAKE SENSE!
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