By Andrew Pacutho:
Our little conversations continued to happen and I longed for every opportunity which were few for not only were you rarely around but we grew up in the age of no cell phones so you can imagined how every moment was lapped up.
The battle in my heart raged and my will power braced itself as I struggled to conceal my feeling for you. You know that movie “she is out of my league”, well I felt that way. There were so many things that were stacked against any possible relationship but love knows you limitation or boundaries and so it raged.
I watched as so many other better looking, more confident and wealthier guys smothered you with attention and each time you laughed and their jokes or hugged them I think I died a little each time. In fact I think I died every day and was reborn the next day to start it all over again, my only solace was a God who entertained the fantasies of a love struck youth.
But little did I know that I had not gone unnoticed. That each time you glanced at me you heart was stirred a little. That while you remained silent you suspected my love and sometimes hoped it was actually there.
I did not know that you had seen many of these rich playboy types and nothing they said moved you and that instead you found our conversations and other various everyday pleasures for welcome and that in your eyes I had scored many, many more points that any of them chaps hovering around you could have.
But like the lady you are you remained silent and bet you love on the indecisions of a pubescent young buck. It was a gamble indeed for in my heart I had sworn do die with my love for you undeclared because I was sure you would never say yes. But I was wrong.
One fateful day, as I walked you to the stage to pick a taxi after a friend's party we got to talking. More than a hundred times along that journey I almost blurted out the words,“I like you” but bit my tongue. I was in no hurry. The stage was still a long ways off. I could enjoy this and maybe shout it through the taxi window just as it pulled away. That way you answer would be put offuntil we next saw each other giving me time to prepare my heart for the rejection I was surely to receive.
Every step closer to your stage and the butterflies within become more frantic. I was breathing heavily by now and I am sure you noticed. I hope you thought it was the walk because I was rather overweight back then.
We talked about various things but like all juvenile conversation the issue of boy and girls kept coming up. With the distance reducing I decided to take my chance and say, “you know I really, really like you”
You were silent. Then you said, “I think I like you too”
I don't remember much of the rest of that day. You made me a very, very happy man.
P.S. I love you
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