By Ben Mwine:
When I was a little boy, maybe about 5 years old, I, my big brother Kenneth and a bunch of other kids in the neighborhood made quite a reputation; as terrorists! Well at least that's what I think the monkeys must have thought. There were a lot of monkeys which used to visit our neighborhood to eat guavas from a tree in the compound.
Naturally we had a problem with this arrangement because we also wanted the guavas. So we resorted to all manner of ruthless and underhanded measures to keep the monkeys away. One day, while we were high up the guava tree, the monkeys got to exact their revenge. We had nowhere to run to and while Ken was able to get down the tree, I wasn't so lucky. One of the monkeys managed to get a decent bite out of my thigh. Why am I telling you this? Because until last weekend, I had not really given any thought to this memory or looked at this scar for many years.
See that's the revelation I got about scars, physical, emotional or otherwise. When you get injured in a car accident, or get cut by a knife etc, the injuries sustained can be life threatening. But most times, they do get to heal and within a few weeks, maybe months or in extreme cases years. They all leave scars of various forms but the one thing common about most of these scars is that when they do heal, we hardly ever pay any attention to them, especially if they are in non prominent places like the one on my thigh.
I also have a big scar on my left hand from when I was 9 (thanks to me playing with a candle and a plastic polythene bag), but I never even notice it unless someone asks about it.
And what is my point in all of this? That wounds should be the same whether physical or emotional, i.e. it will either kill you or it will heal but yet when it comes to emotional wounds, many of us insist on holding on to past hurts and put ourselves through the same pain over and over unnecessarily.
So yes, that person hurt you gravely, so yes, your best friend betrayed you, your spouse cheated on you, your business partner stole from you etc, and yes it hurt, yes, we don't know what they put you through, but what good is it doing you holding on to it? It should be no surprise that God places such a huge emphasis on forgiveness.
While forgiving someone doesn't mean that things will necessarily go back to normal, just like some scars will leave you deformed, it should mean that you can let go of those hurts and stop letting them define who you are or are not.
Remember, at the end of the day, if it didn't kill you, it is just a scar, so ignore it and live your life.
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