Illusions of a Bachelor, Series

Illusions of a Bachelor: Queen of hearts

Milly was mesmerized by my magic act but the look in her eyes spelt something more – something I couldn't find the right words for. Ah, of course I couldn't find the right words, I couldn't find any words at all; I was just speechless. She is a pretty girl and when she is mesmerized she's just out of this world.

“You see! Even cards know you are the queen of my heart and I…” I hesitated a bit lest I said the wrong thing “…am the king of hearts”. I said the wrong thing anyways but perhaps I was only being honest, seeing that Helga's picture was staring down at us. But I was already in this infamous condition where the mind is out of condition due to the heart's illogical action of pumping all the blood from the brain into one particular greedy part of the body. Oh, the heart! Always temptation's most trusted accomplice.

Milly's eyes suggested her mind too was out of condition or so I thought as I leaned forward to breathe back some life into her brain through the most convenient opening I could see on her head. She turned her head just seconds before I executed the life giving maneuver.

“So you are not gay?” Her question jolted me out of that infamous condition.

I had been speechless before and now I was wordless, completely dumbfounded! My mind raced back to that time I had paid her a visit in her hostel. Again I had found Pastor Moses at her place. Apparently pastor used to spend a lot of time at Milly's place but never at anytime slept there. He would instead sleep at a male friend's who was in the same hostel with Milly. Andy, a guy with a forced western accent and a weird sense of style had a bible in his hands the first time Milly and pastor introduced him to me as their mutual friend and brother in Christ. That's the guy with whom pastor spent his nights with whenever he visited Milly. Either I'm not that imaginative or I was plain naïve, just like Milly that time but it never crossed my mind that there could be something sinister going on.

You have to be too naïve not to read between the lines when suspicious bible verses have been thrown your way almost too often. The real weird thing is that these verses are real and everybody is entitled to their own interpretation of them. So when pastor one day told me that Jesus had turned him into a “fisher of men”, I interpreted it in the way my Sunday school teacher had taught me – pastor had been called to be a disciple of Christ!

Now I look back and think “Wow, that's a really nice pick up line”. I'm quite sure whoever wrote “ I will make you fishers of men” in the bible never ever imagined that there would be a time when men of God would use that same verse to lead some of their flock back to Sodomy and Gomorrah.

But we live in times where 'hot' doesn't just paint fire, where 'wet' might not necessarily mean someone has been rained on, where 'Dick' is not just your friend's name, where 'pussy' is not your pet cat anymore, 'ram' could be sheep or not, 'high' isn't necessarily almighty… We live in times where words and sentences have all gone to the dogs, nay to the devil's!

And so have some bible verses. So yes Pastor and Andy were 'fishers of men' and they used their bibles and bible verses as hooks and baits. Milly just found out recently when she read an article in a local paper that quoted his ex- fiancé advocating for gay marriages. She keeps the newspaper clip in her handbag like a souvenir. She also thought my friendship with pastor could have been more than what just met the eye. Lucky for me I'm a very stubborn believer so I never take bible verses for 'bible truth' otherwise I might have been fished. Matter of fact Milly wanted to see me again so she could confirm whether I had been cheating on her with her boyfriend. Lol… haven't the times really taken a nose dive towards the devil's master bedroom?!

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