I am Black…but wish I was Bad too!
By Mpuga Rukidi
I intend not to write anything about colour, or the lack of it, or anything near it. But ours is a country that never runs short of things to amuse, nor amaze. I am Black and there is no gain in saying I am proud of my colour, like all people should. But when you see people with your complexion, being run after by no less than ordinary people, occupying acres of space in national Dailies, you pause and ask yourself why. I have, folks, done just that – paused and asked my little, meaningless self why am never like some of those people.
There is a new phenomenon in my beloved Uganda, called Bad Black. And you guessed right, she is in her twenties. But that is not the reason I envy her. Far from it! I can never envy anyone for being in that age bracket. But here is why. Lately, no newspaper edition is complete minus Black. The genesis of her name I know not, neither do I know that of her fame, nor her money. She spends, or it is reported, not less than 8million Uganda shillings just to buy a few apparels. And she doesn't call it an evening if there are any drinks left in the bar. I know these are times of inflation, and our currency is doing less than well, but this is some money, surely.
She does care about her looks, and is never seen without her makeup. And her breasts? Did I tell you that she had them enhanced or something along those lines to achieve the 'perfect look'? And did I also tell you that lots of men love the look? Well, they do. And you should have seen how everyone was sad when she was put behind bars! And later when she was denied bail. I wonder who would feel the same if you were incarcerated?! The city was in a state of mourning; our hero was behind bars. Pictures of her in various poses grace the dailies, on a daily basis.
You should have seen how the streets went wild when she was released! Our city came to a standstill. People of all walks flooded the city centre, to see for themselves, as we say. And she didn't disappoint. In an open roof car, like a presidential candidate, shouting lies to the electorate, she waved to her 'followers'. There is talk that she should even consider running for the mayorship in the capital. That is how popular our Black is.
Allegations of how she came to have all that money are numerous, and into those I shall not delve. I shall not even say that that she is alleged to have conned an Englishman of 5million in the Pounds. Of course you know why all those allegations are coming up. In street parlance it's called nugu i.e. jealousy. They feel bad that one of us is admired for possessing what others don't have. I wish they knew that she is a role model for many of us. You see, such people form the bulk of role models here, sometimes. We don't care what she looks like, and what she is alleged to have done – there aren't many without unadmirable track records down here after all. We now wait to see what she next has in store for us – and she never quite disappoints. Until we get to have a hero more famous, a character more followed by the paparazzi than she is, it wouldn't be a bad idea to want to be like her, to feel that although being Black is good, being Bad isn't bad at all. Until another character more bad than her surfaces, I will continue to wish aside from being Black, I was just as Bad.