Let’s talk about Porn

Let’s talk about Porn

By Tafadzwa Razemba:

Ephesians 5:11 Have nothing to do with fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.

Bodies writhing, ok maybe not writhing, more of spasmodic movements. Body parts at maximum exposure, no emotions shown or even feigned by the people partaking, as if they were doing something as meaningless and valueless as popping corn. Actually, popping corn would have more worth, it would seem. This is how Lillian* described a pornographic scene as she had seen it on a movie.

I met Lillian at university in Pretoria, she was what I would call, an example of true humility with excellence in all she did. She was kind, exciting to be around and a mature Christian. She also had a secret. She was addicted to pornography. And before the more self righteous among you, shake your heads in judgement, she didn't just wake up one day with an addiction. It was a 10 year progression, of being slowly drawn in to something that disgusted her, yet she was unexplicably curious of. It was a vile journey that started off with reading romance novels in High School, then to more explicit literature, to soft core pornographic movies on TV to hard core movies sold in sex shops. Then the internet, which contained a world of information, became her vice, opened up a plethora of pornographic sites and she found herself in a bona fide addiction. The pictures and film were no longer enough, she got sucked in to more, she was using adult chat rooms, connecting with people from all over the world, for sexual exploits through cyberspace.

We all know that pornography is a major issue in the world; by far the most searched for terms on the internet are related to pornography, but how about in the church? Surveys show that 60% of Christian men in America have viewed porn within the last year and 25% within the last 30 days. In 2000, more than 10 years ago, one in three visitors to adult websites were women, this statistic has probably more than doubled now. Porn has already gotten hold of American culture and is gaining a stranglehold on cultures across the world, as they become more developed and more globalised. A reason could be in the false message that porn viewing is harmless and socially acceptable for the sexually frustrated. Stigma and fear work against Christians who wish to address this issue in the community of their church. My church has accountability groups for men to discuss freely and confidentially about sex addiction problems, but for women, it's swept under the rug, because it is inconceivable that women struggle with pornography since it is so visual, it's a male issue. Yet statistics show otherwise. In my city, Harare, which used to be an incredibly conservative city, and still is in some ways, pornographic movies are sold in the street throughout the day, not overtly though as they are hidden among family friendly Dvds. If you ask for it though, or look hard enough you will find it. With my curiosity, I asked one of the vendors, if many people buy them, and not only do many people buy them, but most of them are women.

According to Websense Incorporated and The Center for Intenet Studies 2000 17% of all women struggle with porn addiction and 9.4 million women access adult websites every month, which again I'm sure has more than doubled since. Male addiction to pornography used to be the biggest secret in church that no one wanted to deal with, this is quickly turning into female addiction to pornography. It's the silent sin that no one wants to talk about.  Satan has succeeded in twisting and perverting sex, taken what is good and right between a husband and wife and turning it into something lewd, lustful, and adulterous. Referring to porn as an epidemic is an understatement, it's just too easy to cave in to a moment of curiosity on the internet and without even realising, get sucked into enslavement.

In my job, I get to travel around Zimbabwe helping develop small business people and in an area near Beitbridge (on the border with South Africa), I met the mother of a young girl, who got into prostitution, a lucrative business there considering all the movement and interaction with truck drivers, tourists and business people. Before she got deeply into prostitution though, she got a 'job' to work in Pretoria and Johannesburg, where this 'job' started off as her sleeping with men for money again but which then led to her sleeping with men on camera, starring in African pornographic movies. She agreed, to what would be years of painful sex and torment, all on camera. As a prostitute, we would think, that wouldn't be much of a leap, but according to her mother, she was so traumatised by what she did, it was as if she had lost her soul. Although she brought money home, her mother felt she had lost her daughter, who now walked around with a blank face and listless eyes. According to statistics in America, 70% of women who ever star in porn, do it once, as the experience the first time is too traumatic to the point of dehumanisation.

This is a contentious and underexposed issue, something we would rather not talk about because it is too scary and uncomfortable for some of us more sheltered people. I am passionate about this issue, because of the strongholds I have seen people around me dealing with, a lot of them good, Christian men and women. People who opened up a small door, by mistake or from curiosity and got entangled in a snare that they are failing to get free from; then having to struggle in silence, because of the shame and stigma involved. The internet is a great blessing and the same portal that offers X Rated material also offers help for those addicted or on the path to addiction to pornography. Here are a few:

www.xxxchurch.com,

www.covenanteyes.com

www.settingcaptivesfree.com

Founder and Editor in Chief of the Readers Cafe Africa

Comments (3)

  • migisha boyd

    "enlightening" - migisha

  • EmmyAdebayo

    hmmmmm! this is a big issue and i feel the coming generation needs to be exposed to true lectures about this, because they are more exposed than any other generation before them!

  • Ben

    This is a great piece, I think the church needs to wake up and stop living in denial. I have personally experienced the devastating effects of this vice, and I am convinced the best way to break it's hold on Christians is to give them an avenue to deal with it....a sort of Alcoholics(Porn) Anonymous for Christians...

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