By Kizzy Katawonga
Yes, I mean you. You are a fraud, a charlatan, a poseur. You aren't who you really are. You are a cleverly disguised menagerie created by the standards, ideas and dreams of the people around you but behind it all, just a sham.
You're probably a successful corporate drone, smart in your suit and tie with your respectable salary but secretly breaking under the weight of bank loans that maintain the exciting lifestyle of the hit crowd you so want to be a part of.
Or you're a high flying independent superwoman whose career is on the fast track, the envy of all your girlfriends. But your marriage is failing because of your hectic schedule and your children call the maid mommy.
Or perhaps you're a law student, piling on the courses and studying late in the night to keep up with the load. But you're only doing it because it's expected of you. Your father and his father were lawyers and you need to follow dutifully in their footsteps.
Or you're a freshly wed husband just had a baby with your wife, but your drinking buddies that you hang out with every evening at work are encouraging your affair with the office receptionist, because after all they've all done it and you need to be one of the boys.
I'm not judging you. You might actually be living your authentic life. However, most of us aren't. I have been a fraud on many an occasion. I too have done things because I was expected to or because someone told me it would be great for me. I have taken jobs or business ventures that were clearly wrong for me because I listened to everyone except myself. In my heart I knew they were wrong for me yet still I went ahead.
What's so wrong with listening to the advice of others? Nothing except when you never, even for one second, think about what you want, what's right for you and your life; therefore you become a fraud because you are living someone else's life, someone else's dream.
It is making you miserable, stressed out and just a plain nuisance to the world because you're like a fish out of water or an eagle pecking around with chicken. It's not you, and the universe is out of balance because of it.
Listen here. It's a brand new year. Stop the charade. Be who you are meant to be. Stop living a life that's secretly making you miserable or going against your values and principles. Break free of other people's limitations, thoughts and ideas that they are thrusting on you. Remember that they have their view of life, and what works for them doesn't necessarily work for you.
I have struggled with the lack of authenticity this past year and as the new one came, I realized I could no longer be someone I'm not. I'm not a savvy street smart entrepreneur and that's ok. I'm not passionate about all things web design and animation as I was when I was younger and that's ok. I don't have to keep doing that because that's who the world sees me as.
It's ok for me to move forward; screw anyone's approval. I just need to approve myself. I have to believe that the dreams and plans that keep me awake at night however trivial or gigantic were put there by an Awesome God because they are.
If I was only created to write articles for Readers Café that help you live your dreams then screw everything else. I will write my damndest and live in the joy of being who I am. Food and rent will just have to work themselves out some other way.
So I urge you, don't be a fraud anymore, just be you. As the saying goes, be yourself because everyone else is taken!
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