Paper and Ink, Series

Paper and Ink: Femme Aimee (57)

By Emmeline Bisiikwa, Uganda:

I fell in love with you as a young girl and you crushed my heart before we even met. Cyber dating then was easy, considering there wasn't much sexting or this whole movement of leaking nudes etc. it was simple talking when two people are both online and crushes blossoming into promises of a future you thought was certain.

I was 17 then, the first time I thought I had met my soul mate. We spoke for hours and I loved how you never got tired of texting me back or finding me naïve. You played along so well that I believed we had a relationship. Fast forward to two years later after a long time of not talking and we found each other again. Like the silly romantic I am, I found it novel that we still couldn't get enough of each other. Maybe now that I was older we could work.

Somehow, the past came up. Imagine my surprise that not only was I in a delusional relationship back then, but you were actually dating someone else. It crushed me. I keep shrugging off every bad thing that happens to me with you because I feel that this connection wed have is special. No one talks to me like you do, no one listens, engages and stimulates me. We can talk all day for months without running out of things to say.

Ours has been an unusual friendship. It started out as one sided affection that faded to companionship when you let me. I have learnt some of the harshest lessons at your feet such as not wearing my heart on my sleeve or revealing my weaknesses and feelings.

We fight so much sometimes, because your arrogance rubs me the wrong way and your need no one personality. But of course I want to feel that if we have talked for the past 6 years my friendship and feelings matter to you but over and over you have shown me your loyalty is to self only. Your solution for when I lash out at you is to ignore me until years later when somehow we start talking again.

Months ago you told me you were coming to town but seeing me was conditional; it was based on the fact that if we were speaking then, then we could meet. Being you, of course you gave no specific date. You stopped talking to me for no obvious reason and when I asked what was going on, you acted like it was my fault and I stopped talking to you for a couple of months.

Yesterday, I received a cryptic message saying “Sucks that it has to be this way.” I asked who was texting me and you asked how many people would send me such a message. Anyway, eventually we got talking and turns out you were in town. We decided to meet up for an earlier dinner. The meeting was amazing, and the conversation was even more dynamite in person. We went for drinks and listened to music, singing along as we talked.

I can honestly say you were worth the 6 year wait. My surprise was the designer tote you brought me even if you didn't have to because you had told me earlier you wouldn't bring a gift when you came. Needless to say I enjoyed getting drunk with you. I guess you are the third good thing to happen to me lately.

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