By Mpuga Rukidi, Uganda:
A number of things have happened that have prompted yours truly to pen this piece. And they are not simple. Just a few weeks ago, or is it days ago, the Kenyan president, Uhuru Kenyatta, full of charm and aura, was pictured flying or, at least about to fly, a plane. The dashboard and the smile the president wore made me more than jealous. On the other side, you had my president, hat on head, buggy suit struggling to stay on his body, riding a brand new bicycle. Yes, it was brand new. The two presidents were, no doubt, showing the direction their respective countries were taking.
That was hard to take. Life continued to painfully drag as done it had. Then came the London Marathon. It's an everyday thing, I hear you say. But this was no ordinary event. The two countries still sent representatives. Uganda was the defending champion, having bagged gold the last time round, which were the Olympics. But things were not to be. Not only did our representative fail to make the top ten the Kenyan contingent took up all the top five spots.
But there was another, more painful sight. The Kenyans were also represented by their first lady. She took part in the marathon and finished. Had we not suffered enough humiliation? Were we to put together the entire cabinet in my country, she would have beaten them all. You see, all of them, especially the men, look heavily pregnant (I guess as a result of spending long hours trying to learn how to use their newly acquired ipads, paid for by us).
And that was not the whole story. At the end of it all, the Kenyan first couple, arm in arm, boarded their newly launched plane, the president ostentatiously showing off his flying skills for all to see! They made it a point to fly past Uganda so we could all see them, and see them we did, our uncharacteristic tails lazily folded between our unflattering legs. Eh, and while in the plane the couple were caressing their ipads. Of course our president is an acclaimed international rap star. But it's sort of hard to defend one's stardom if they aren't exactly tech savvy, you see.
In my country we say if another man has a bigger leg than you, it is futile to call it elephantiasis. Dear Kenya, your president has no elephantiasis, but enough is enough. Give us a break!
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